Friday, August 28, 2009
JIMMYJAMES' SUNDAY FANTASY DRAFT PREDICTION
As most of you know, this Sunday I will be participating in my first Fantasy Football draft at the Rocco/Field/Hammer household in Southie.... I will be drafting for John " Put the Dradle in the Cradle" Pastor as he will be in DC doin god knows what to god knows who..... With this being my first ever fantasy football draft along with my love for drinkin excessively on Sundays..... heres how I see the day going........ "
11:30 a.m. - Wake up barely able to lift my head off my pillow due to Saturday nights events. Roll out of bed, realize it was the kitchen counter, and drop 3 feet down to earth to the kitchen floor, badly injuring my tailbone.
1:00 p.m. - Walk to the packy down the street from my house and purchase a bottle of soco, a coke, and 2 giant Fosters beer cans.
Drink both cans in the alley behind the packy, throw them at the squirrel that was watchin the whole thing, make a mixed drink of Soco and coke, and start walkin to the red line.
2:37 p.m.- Absolutely belligerent, finally make it to Roccos after knockin on the doors of three apartments that werent his, Rocco opens the door, I call him a homo and track mud all over his just vacuumed living room.
3:00- 4:30 - Pass out in a recliner in roccos living room, wake up and chug 4 twisted teas from roccos personal mini fridge as I flip him off.
6:00- Call Pastor, call him a dooshbag and tell him I'm not gonna use the cheat sheet of who he wants me to draft because that's cheating.... He tries callin me back and I immediately shut my phone off.
7:00 - Draft a punter for my first pick as everyone looks at me in pure shock and disgust.
8:00- Draft a Punter for my second overall pick and tell everyone to blow me.
8:00 - 11:30 *Blackout* ...... I wake up to see the final team I had chosen full mostly of punters and left offensive guards. Rocco tells me I owe Pastor the 40 dollar buy in and that he's gonna kick my ass. I give rocco an indian sun burn and stumble out of his house trackin mud behind me.
See you all Sunday
-JimmyJames -
11:30 a.m. - Wake up barely able to lift my head off my pillow due to Saturday nights events. Roll out of bed, realize it was the kitchen counter, and drop 3 feet down to earth to the kitchen floor, badly injuring my tailbone.
1:00 p.m. - Walk to the packy down the street from my house and purchase a bottle of soco, a coke, and 2 giant Fosters beer cans.
Drink both cans in the alley behind the packy, throw them at the squirrel that was watchin the whole thing, make a mixed drink of Soco and coke, and start walkin to the red line.
2:37 p.m.- Absolutely belligerent, finally make it to Roccos after knockin on the doors of three apartments that werent his, Rocco opens the door, I call him a homo and track mud all over his just vacuumed living room.
3:00- 4:30 - Pass out in a recliner in roccos living room, wake up and chug 4 twisted teas from roccos personal mini fridge as I flip him off.
6:00- Call Pastor, call him a dooshbag and tell him I'm not gonna use the cheat sheet of who he wants me to draft because that's cheating.... He tries callin me back and I immediately shut my phone off.
7:00 - Draft a punter for my first pick as everyone looks at me in pure shock and disgust.
8:00- Draft a Punter for my second overall pick and tell everyone to blow me.
8:00 - 11:30 *Blackout* ...... I wake up to see the final team I had chosen full mostly of punters and left offensive guards. Rocco tells me I owe Pastor the 40 dollar buy in and that he's gonna kick my ass. I give rocco an indian sun burn and stumble out of his house trackin mud behind me.
See you all Sunday
-JimmyJames -
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
SONIC GRAND OPENING REVIEW
Peabody, MAAll the world took notice as Sonic opened up today in Peabody, MA. As perhaps the original Sonic savior of the Northeast, I felt it was my duty to attend the opening festivities. Route 1 had shut down a lane of traffic for the thousands of cards that would be passing through that day. Many waited hours in a line of cars for their taste of true Sonic in New England. As many as five Peabody police officers patrolled the area. A private valet company was also hired to direct cars in addition to the gully staffed roller blading Sonic employees.
Were they ready? Absolutely. Myself, my roommate and one of his friends from DC ordered 60 dollars worth of Sonic food between the 3 of us (I was responsible for ordering 26 dollars worth of food). In fact, the woman who took our order from the car demanded a drum roll for when she read my order back to me. and why wouldnt she? here is what I ordered
A Number 10 (Jalapeno Sonic Cheeseburger with fries and a diet pepsi)
Extra long chili cheese coney dog
Corn dog
Sausage breakfast burrito
Large order of Chili Cheese Tots
A grilled cheese kids meal (with fries, a grape slush, and a toy)
A chicken strip sandwich
Chili Cheese wrap
All for 26 dollars. Pretty awesome.
So about 15 minutes later, the food arrived. I mean, cmon. 15 minutes? Are they kidding me? they were serving thousands of people and they still manage to get orders out, even orders like mine, in 15 minutes.
I gotta hand it to Sonic here. Remember when Gillette stadium opened? The disaster that was having the same amount of men and women's rooms? And at the first patriots game, thousands of men burst into the women's rooms and started using them because of the grotesque oversight that more men attend patriots games than women.
Not the case here. Sonic was classy, cheerful, and handed out menus to the lines of cars so they wouldnt take forever ordering. As for the quality of the food, it was excellent. But that's to be expected. First of all, it's a tad bit more expensive than normal fast food joints, even though you can successfully navigate the dollar menu for a good meal. Second of all, it's opening day. of course it will be good food.
The quality may decline a bit I suppose but I can honestly say that Wendy's, McDonald's, and Burger King have a real problem here. Sonic is already expanding into Wilmington next within the next 2 years and expect to have 5 in the greater boston area by 2014. Long overdue, but happily received. I encourage all of you to go to Sonic on Route 1 in Peabody to give it a chance in the next few months. It will be crowded as hell now, but either way, it'll be good to send Sonic a message to say keep up the good work. After 6 years of nationally advertising despite not having a Sonic in an entire section of the country, we proudly welcome you to the area.
-- Boosh
Speaking of Issues With Transportation....
I was driving with Jimmy a few weeks back on 495 North. It was your typical Friday, it was right around noon so our ride up to Jimmy's camp ground should have been a nice peaceful one with a variety of times with me and Jimmy making fun of each other. Nothing serious. But then all of a sudden we come to a screeching stop. All we see is brake lights. What was once the autobahn, turned into a turtle race. So obviously me and Jimmy are thinking that there could only be one thing, a car was split in half on the middle of the highway. We start moving a little bit then it goes back to a complete stop. Back and forth, back and forth. Absolutely miserable. Then all of a sudden it opens up again. And its smooth sailings for the rest of the ride. So you are probably asking, "Oh magnificent Rocco, what caused that traffic...was it as horrific as you hoped?"
And the answer is no.
There was no horrific accident...no moose sticking his head inside a gas tanker...no medilift helicopter to be found or even a rogue tire wandering aimlessly down the highway. You wanna know what caused all this traffic??? Nothing....Fucking nothing. Apparently there was a minor fender bender on the other side of the highway that didn't even include police cars with flashing lights on yet, that was the cause of the traffic.
Now don't get me wrong, i am not innocent when it comes to peering over to the other side of the highway when something catches my eye. But I will tell you what, I don't fucking stop and watch and try to act the scene out like an episode of Days of Our Lives. Listen, it might be insensitive or whatever but if there is going to be traffic on the highway, there better be enough blood and guts to make it look like a cheap 70's horror film.
I really don't understand this whole thing with traffic, no wonder why people get road rage and wanna beat the shit out of their wives when they get home from work. They aren't pissed off about their job, or pissed about the last good blow job their wife gave them, they don't understand why they are not moving on 4 lane highway with no scene from one of the "Transformers" movie taking place in front of them. They just worked for 8 hours for probably some kind of pay that no where justifies what they do and their boss was probably breathing down their back. Now they got to put up with this shit...thank god I work nights.
Something has to be done about this. there has to be fines handed down for the person that starts this unnecessary traffic. The next time you see someone slam on the brakes and gaze to the other side of the highway, just do the right thing and drive the front end of your motor vehicle into threes and make the world a little better place.
-Rockdaddy
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
The "controversial" PSA
Ok everyone is talkin about the new texting while driving public service video seen here...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DGE8LzRaySk
First of all, can the acting get any worse? Leave it to the British PSA agency to hire acting that would make Helen Keller cringe. But that's not the point, the point is, I know this video is supposed to deter "teens" from texting and driving at the same time but I have a lot of problems with this.
Where to begin?
FIRST OF ALL, Teens arent the only people that text and drive. I'm well into my twenties and I do it too. In fact, I know tons of people that text and drive, regardless of age. When are people going to snap out of it and realize that teenagers driving isn't the most glaring problem on the roads right now?
SECOND OF ALL, how about showing a public service announcement that shows old people running people over, driving into buildings or driving 20 miles an hour on the highway and cause a fatal accident. THAT HAPPENS EVERY WEEK. Stop picking on teenagers cuz thats the easy target. The most glaring problem on the road is grandpa tagging 2 year olds on the crosswalk. Man up and put them in senior homes or just take away their license.
THIRD OF ALL, it's a girl driving. enough said
FOURTH OF ALL, there's a bunch of other girls in the car blabbing on in self absorption with no idea that there is actually a world that exists outside their warped reality. If they expected me to feel the slightest guilty or sad about seeing this happen to these girls, forget about it. In fact, right now I could think of about 10 girls who I WISH was in that car because they'd be doing the exact same thing. Even if you aren't sadistic enough to call this short film a comedy, you could at least call it a movie with a happy ending. In those 40 seconds of conversation, it couldnt have been more clear that these girls needed to be wiped off the planet.
So what's the real message? If you're going to be a retarded girl that talks about nothing but fashion, make up, boys, and other girls, you deserve to die a horrific death.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DGE8LzRaySk
First of all, can the acting get any worse? Leave it to the British PSA agency to hire acting that would make Helen Keller cringe. But that's not the point, the point is, I know this video is supposed to deter "teens" from texting and driving at the same time but I have a lot of problems with this.
Where to begin?
FIRST OF ALL, Teens arent the only people that text and drive. I'm well into my twenties and I do it too. In fact, I know tons of people that text and drive, regardless of age. When are people going to snap out of it and realize that teenagers driving isn't the most glaring problem on the roads right now?
SECOND OF ALL, how about showing a public service announcement that shows old people running people over, driving into buildings or driving 20 miles an hour on the highway and cause a fatal accident. THAT HAPPENS EVERY WEEK. Stop picking on teenagers cuz thats the easy target. The most glaring problem on the road is grandpa tagging 2 year olds on the crosswalk. Man up and put them in senior homes or just take away their license.
THIRD OF ALL, it's a girl driving. enough said
FOURTH OF ALL, there's a bunch of other girls in the car blabbing on in self absorption with no idea that there is actually a world that exists outside their warped reality. If they expected me to feel the slightest guilty or sad about seeing this happen to these girls, forget about it. In fact, right now I could think of about 10 girls who I WISH was in that car because they'd be doing the exact same thing. Even if you aren't sadistic enough to call this short film a comedy, you could at least call it a movie with a happy ending. In those 40 seconds of conversation, it couldnt have been more clear that these girls needed to be wiped off the planet.
So what's the real message? If you're going to be a retarded girl that talks about nothing but fashion, make up, boys, and other girls, you deserve to die a horrific death.
-- Boosh
A new addition to the list of things I don't pay for on the T
Thanks MBTA for turning off your Air Conditioning. Thanks for adding to the list of things I don't pay for. Which now stands at...
Reliable service
Short waits in between trains
Non- overcrowded trains
Explicable stops and delays
Service that doesn't shut down at 1230 (bars close at 2)
Service that takes you to all parts of the city
Friendly operators
Air conditioning
Upcoming projects
For good measure, there have been no changes to the list of what you DO pay for when you ride the T.
6 figure pensions for MBTA execs
-- Boosh
Monday, August 24, 2009
There is Something About the Sagamore Bridge That Changes People....
DISCLAIMER: NAMES WILL BE CHANGED AT POINTS TO PROTECT PEOPLE FROM POTENTIALLY BEING FIRED FROM THEIR JOBS/ANYTHING ELSE HORRIFIC THAT YOU CAN THINK OF BECAUSE SOME OF THE SHIT THAT TOOK PLACE THIS WEEKEND WAS THAT CRAZY AND INAPPROPRIATE.
This weekend marked the 2nd Annual Harrison Cape Cod Extravaganza. Last year we did this trip and it was a good time. There was a lot of potential in this trip. From this time last year leading all the way up until this years trip, as a collective group, we were trying to think of everything to enhance the overall experience of the trip. For instance, for most of us that made the trip last year, it was just a one night gig. We made this years a weekend get together. Also, we upgraded hotels and actual "planned out" a little itinerary of things that we would do when were down there. The only question, just like with every trip to a beach, would be if the weather would co operate with us the entire time. Especially seeing that Hurricane Bill was looming down in warmer seas and was planning to stop on by New England.
Our group that was going down on this trip made the drive Friday. Some of us didn't have to work so we got down there early and then there were others that didn't make it until later. Obviously, I was part of the crew that got there the earliest because you know....I'm not exactly a worker. Friday was a beautiful. Great weather at the beach, waves were fantastic and the water was nice and warm. We hung out at the beach waiting for everyone else to show up. Had some brews, worked on the base tan and just soaked it all in. Eventually as more people started showing up we made out move to the indoor pool/jacuzzi area....carrying the cooler everywhere we went. This was where we made our big strides last year. We were so innaporiatly drunk and obnoxious in the jacuzzi area last year it wasn't even funny. Somehow I managed to find away to break my middle toe last year, still don't understand how this happened to this day. Anyways, after we pretty much freaked everyone out by our terrible language and our ability to drink alcoholic beverages, we owned the area. We were playing pool football, doing crazy dives and everything else you can think of. Shortly after this pizza was ordered, we cleaned up a little bit and then we headed down stairs for a couple drinks. Nice little live band was playing so we were gonna see the deal and see where the night would take us. Mind you it was only 9 by this time. We get down there have a drink and then we are told that the band has to wrap it up because of a noise complaint. Really people? Its a fucking band, they play music and they had to stay in cuz it was supposed to rain a little. You are on vacation on a Friday night. No one is going to bed early. Its bullshit too cuz the band was pretty good. So sitting right in front of us was this group of cougars....this would be a common theme through out the weekend. We conversed with them for a little. Some more than others. After a little while of this, some in the group decided to go to another bar where we could actually drink. Some people made the trip while others hung around with the cougars...........
Getting back to what i said earlier about the cougars real quick. They were every where this weekend. Without question there was more older women looking to get weird than there were girls our age. So needless to say some members of our group went hunting. Some succeeded, some didn't, but no matter how put it, the land was filed with plenty of bogeys to be picked out of the sky....
Now while some people fell in love for the night, others went to the bar. The bar wasn't exactly anything special, especially judging by the fact that no one was dancing and there was a live band. Not sure how people on the cape do this but in Boston we dance when there is music being played...none of this standing on the wall bullshit. So after bringing the noise to the bar, that group left and returned back to the hotel for a nice little night of a few beverages out on the beach.
On Saturday we slept in a little and went right to the beach. Started drinking right away. Sun was out full blast. Took a little bit of getting going but after the first beverage went down we were all set. Went out and splashed around in the water and such and then had a lovely lunch at the bar on the beach. The group of distinguished women from the night before was sitting about 75 yards to our right. After a little while they notice us and call us out and start screaming at us. The group of not quite yet cougars sitting next to us asked "Is that one of your guys mom?" This stung particularly hard for one member of the group. So much like the day before we went to the jacuzzi/pool area. This time we were out numbered and a lot more people where following our lead by them drinking in the pool area. So we cut our time in this area a little short and went back to the hotel. We were planning on going to a nicer restaurant and bar for that night. We came back and there was some type of deadly combination of kool-aid mix and vodka waiting for us. I'm not sure what happened next but it led to people showering together and some seriously borderline homosexual things taking place. Weirdness level was at an all time high.
We finally rally up and head to the restaurant. Get right in and order. That drink we had is officially kicking our ass. We had a group of 8 people go to dinner. By the time we were paying the bill, there was only 3 people left sitting at the table. It was a combination of people actually removing themselves because of how drunk they were and us being so loud and inappropriate we were asked to leave. This was a family type restaurant. We were screaming every foul language word you could think of. Some of the looks we got could have turned us to stone. Thank god we were as drunk as we were or we would have. So now we to drive back to the hotel, yes we were not sober but someone had to drive. Once we get to the room we called for a taxi. Almost everyone takes a little nap waiting for the taxi's to come. Not everyone was able to make it out though. Again, it was extremely early. For those in the group that were able to make it out, they went to the same bar as the night before. Needless to say the place was filled.....with more cougars. The dance floor was a little more filled than the night before and there were two bachelorrette parties. We were fishing with dynamite. We couldn't go wrong with anything that we threw out there. So needless to say there was stuff that happened with some of the ladies there. We come back to the hotel after more partying, some sooner than others because they were making one last attempt to get swept off their feet by some older woman. Eventually, we fell asleep. This time we really slept in and almost didn't make it to check out time. We headed to dunks and we had to be the sorriest group of individuals to ever walk into a public place ever. Heads where hanging, people were limping, everyone was wearing sunglasses. Most of us couldn't finish our food at Dunks and everyone ordered at least one water/Gatorade with their meal. Shortly after this we all convened quickly and went on our separate ways.
Needless to say there is something about crossing that bridge that changes people. Not sure what it is but there is surely something. Woman throw their inhibitions to the wind and don't care about nothing. Even on the ride home right when we crossed over the bridge, I got the sense that all morals were returned to my body, as well as everyone else on the trip that we had lost before crossing that bridge on Friday afternoon.
As for the cougars...god bless them. To steal a line from one of Garth Brooks best songs, ya I know Boosh wrote the 2 big long blogs about country music. I do not impose my country music on anyone. I don't go to country fest. I enjoy the music cuz I listened to it for an entire summer while I lived in North Carolina and it stuck with me. I listen to it for more than the week leading up to country fest. I dare you to ask one of the assholes at country fest who Garth Brooks is or even name one of his songs and they will go blank. They only know Kenny Chesney and whoever else just happens to have a song playe don teh radio during their one week of listening. I refuse to be grouped into that crowd. I like most other people hate the country fest crowd.
But I digress.....
The Song is called "That Summer" and its about a cougar banging some teen ager that worked at her house after she had been divorced. Check out the song, and I think some of you will be able to see what was going on in these ladies minds before the hunters became the hunted....
Happy Monday.
-Rockdaddy
2009 Yahoo Fantasy Football League Team By Team Breakdown
Team #7 "Asian Persuasion"...Manager Matthew "Bug" Gaynor
Ladies and Gentlemen, Mel Kiper Jr. here with your latest Yahoo Fantasy Football League Pre Draft Analysis. Tonight's breakdown will be of Team "Asian Persuasion" and Manager Matthew "Bug" Gaynor.
Coach Gaynor is truly someone who is going to be a top end contender and should be a considered a playoff lock in this league. His coaching prowess is one that should not be taken lightly. In all the fantasy football leagues Gaynor has been in, there has been no question that he goes out and finds away to make his time win. Despite his lack of overall experience, Gaynor finds that he is a true visionary when it comes to the overall fantasy game.
Gaynor doesn't make a lot of moves, but the moves he make are impactful. He averages just around 20 moves, but only 1 trade. He makes an absolute killing on the waiver line, always being the first one to make a move on a player and trying to pick up the next big thing Tuesday morning right after the last game of the week. Some call this move bush...but its only bush because those other coaches aren't getting that player and cant come to the fact that Bug Gaynor has out maneuvered them once again.
Make sure to watch some of the moves that Gaynor makes, without question he will be surfing the waiver wire looking to plug in holes at whatever costs it takes. He is truly the Billy Beane of this league....sell high, buy low and win a lot.
Team #6 "Mayo Sangwich"....Manager Ryan "Huggie Bear" Byrne
An outsider to this group of fantasy coaches, but no stranger to Fantasy sports, Coach Byrne comes into the league as an undeniable dark horse in the league. He has been a very touted rookie to this league and looks to make an immediate impact. There is no shame in his game that is for sure. To make his odds even better of a successful year, he has the 6th overall pick, which is essentially the best pick in the draft becomes when the pick comes around again, you have a legitimate shot of getting someone you like and praying that you get a steal. This is of course unless you have been reading my self help and improve coaching techniques in the off season.
There is one thing about potential....that's all it is. You haven't proven anything yet and no one knows exactly just how you will respond when you land in unfamiliar territory. Time will surely tell and it starts this weekend with the draft. The best way to remove rookie jitters is by having a solid base and turning that base into victories and putting yourself in a power position when the crowd is looking up at you.
Tune in tomorrow for when we discuss Team #5 "Gold Clubbers" and Manager John O'Harrison
Ladies and Gentlemen, Mel Kiper Jr. here with your latest Yahoo Fantasy Football League Pre Draft Analysis. Tonight's breakdown will be of Team "Asian Persuasion" and Manager Matthew "Bug" Gaynor.
Coach Gaynor is truly someone who is going to be a top end contender and should be a considered a playoff lock in this league. His coaching prowess is one that should not be taken lightly. In all the fantasy football leagues Gaynor has been in, there has been no question that he goes out and finds away to make his time win. Despite his lack of overall experience, Gaynor finds that he is a true visionary when it comes to the overall fantasy game.
Gaynor doesn't make a lot of moves, but the moves he make are impactful. He averages just around 20 moves, but only 1 trade. He makes an absolute killing on the waiver line, always being the first one to make a move on a player and trying to pick up the next big thing Tuesday morning right after the last game of the week. Some call this move bush...but its only bush because those other coaches aren't getting that player and cant come to the fact that Bug Gaynor has out maneuvered them once again.
Make sure to watch some of the moves that Gaynor makes, without question he will be surfing the waiver wire looking to plug in holes at whatever costs it takes. He is truly the Billy Beane of this league....sell high, buy low and win a lot.
Team #6 "Mayo Sangwich"....Manager Ryan "Huggie Bear" Byrne
An outsider to this group of fantasy coaches, but no stranger to Fantasy sports, Coach Byrne comes into the league as an undeniable dark horse in the league. He has been a very touted rookie to this league and looks to make an immediate impact. There is no shame in his game that is for sure. To make his odds even better of a successful year, he has the 6th overall pick, which is essentially the best pick in the draft becomes when the pick comes around again, you have a legitimate shot of getting someone you like and praying that you get a steal. This is of course unless you have been reading my self help and improve coaching techniques in the off season.
There is one thing about potential....that's all it is. You haven't proven anything yet and no one knows exactly just how you will respond when you land in unfamiliar territory. Time will surely tell and it starts this weekend with the draft. The best way to remove rookie jitters is by having a solid base and turning that base into victories and putting yourself in a power position when the crowd is looking up at you.
Tune in tomorrow for when we discuss Team #5 "Gold Clubbers" and Manager John O'Harrison
-Rockdaddy
Sunday, August 23, 2009
Countryfest Addendum
Here is a lengthy response to the countryfest treat that debuted on Friday...
"As two Midwest girls, we felt a duty to add an addendum to this post to inform the New England community that your attempt at being country is an epic fail.
Let’s talk about a real country festival, where people camp, shower from bags hanging in trees, chew tobacco, mud wrestle and only pay $99 for a 4-day pass with 31 artists, to live, breathe, and drink country. This is called Country Thunder USA, even the name would kick Country Fest’s ass. Here you wont find any posers, no one is here to look cool or to show off to their friends. This is a time where you grab your hometown best buds, get in your pick-up trucks (we own them, not rent them for the day), drive north and get ready for the best 4 days of the year. The days include brushing your teeth and rinsing with beer, grilling out, plucking sweet corn, and bag tournaments, all with a steady stream of country music in the background. This is an experience, people, NOT a concert.
Now, let’s talk about your version. A festival defined is a music event, usually held outdoors and attended by thousands of music fans. Multiple artists play on multiple stages and they last multiple days. Now we would hardly call New England’s version of a concert held at Gillette Stadium with only 5 artists and on 1 day, a festival, let alone a country festival. Now the “Fest”, as we will call it, is the 1 day a year where New Englanders decide to be “country” and trade in their fuckin’ Sperry’s and seersucker for cowboy hats and cut-offs.
Then you go and spend $60 to arrive early and tailgate in a stadium parking lot, up to $100 a ticket, for what isn’t even a full day event, lots don’t even open until 1pm. That is what, 9 hours people? And this qualifies as a festival? To make matters even worse, most “Fest” attendees, probably rush home to put their cowboy hat wearin’, beer drinkin’, cut off shirt wearin’ pics up on facebook to look “cool” to the rest of the New England community.
So, next year when you consider going to the “Fest”, please spare us all your hypocrisy, and book a flight to the Midwest, it actually is not just a fly-over zone.
And most importantly, this is not an opinion piece, but a declaration of the truth."
Well, I wasn't aware that there was a competition to be so trashy, but the Midwest clearly thinks that they take the cake. If only we could get a representative from the South to talk about how their shitty music festival is trashier than the Midwest version. Either way, I don't give a shit.
"As two Midwest girls, we felt a duty to add an addendum to this post to inform the New England community that your attempt at being country is an epic fail.
Let’s talk about a real country festival, where people camp, shower from bags hanging in trees, chew tobacco, mud wrestle and only pay $99 for a 4-day pass with 31 artists, to live, breathe, and drink country. This is called Country Thunder USA, even the name would kick Country Fest’s ass. Here you wont find any posers, no one is here to look cool or to show off to their friends. This is a time where you grab your hometown best buds, get in your pick-up trucks (we own them, not rent them for the day), drive north and get ready for the best 4 days of the year. The days include brushing your teeth and rinsing with beer, grilling out, plucking sweet corn, and bag tournaments, all with a steady stream of country music in the background. This is an experience, people, NOT a concert.
Now, let’s talk about your version. A festival defined is a music event, usually held outdoors and attended by thousands of music fans. Multiple artists play on multiple stages and they last multiple days. Now we would hardly call New England’s version of a concert held at Gillette Stadium with only 5 artists and on 1 day, a festival, let alone a country festival. Now the “Fest”, as we will call it, is the 1 day a year where New Englanders decide to be “country” and trade in their fuckin’ Sperry’s and seersucker for cowboy hats and cut-offs.
Then you go and spend $60 to arrive early and tailgate in a stadium parking lot, up to $100 a ticket, for what isn’t even a full day event, lots don’t even open until 1pm. That is what, 9 hours people? And this qualifies as a festival? To make matters even worse, most “Fest” attendees, probably rush home to put their cowboy hat wearin’, beer drinkin’, cut off shirt wearin’ pics up on facebook to look “cool” to the rest of the New England community.
So, next year when you consider going to the “Fest”, please spare us all your hypocrisy, and book a flight to the Midwest, it actually is not just a fly-over zone.
And most importantly, this is not an opinion piece, but a declaration of the truth."
Well, I wasn't aware that there was a competition to be so trashy, but the Midwest clearly thinks that they take the cake. If only we could get a representative from the South to talk about how their shitty music festival is trashier than the Midwest version. Either way, I don't give a shit.
-- Boosh
Friday, August 21, 2009
What happens at Countryfest...
There's an old saying out west that got converted into a marketing slogan for tourists everywhere: What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas. Of course, there are plenty of unoriginal spinoffs from this quote designed to elicit humor and praise when in reality we are all pretty sick of it. That being said, I can't help but think of a rendition of the quote in terms of Countryfest: Whoever goes to Countryfest, should stay at Countryfest...and never come back.
First of all, country music never started here so stop acting like it's part of your culture to listen to country music. Even if you have 4 teeth, sleep with your sister and watch NASCAR, the fact remains that you are NOT from the South if the highlight of your summer is going to Patriot Place for a concert.
I mean, country music only got popular to begin with a few of the "I'm listening to country because I want to impress people with how I'm not afraid to listen to music that most people say they don't like" people
Now, do I think country music sucks? Sure. But that's not the point. Frankly, all music sucks right now. So anybody who says country music sucks is an idiot because no matter what other music he is listening to that comes out right now, it also sucks. So wherein lies the problem? It's the countless people around here that adopted country music as their favorite when it became "cool" to like country music.
"But Jeff, country music isn't about the South. It's not about anything. Country music is about relaxing with your friends, having a few beers and just enjoying life." So what? You need country music to do that? Are you juxtaposing that with rap music as to say that you don't celebrate shooting people, dancing in clubs or smacking hoes around? I don't get it. Are you that insecure that you are afraid to express yourself without country music?
So everyone dons their cowboy caps and goes to Countryfest where a bunch of idiots get on stage and circle jerk around a banjo. And this excites so many people. Of course country music is all about drinking beer and being with friends. So hopefully you're in the middle of a conversation or hammered enough so you don't actually listen to it.
Numerous anthropological studies suggest the human race is de-evolving. Wealthy intellectuals have only two children while John and Kate brought 8 retards into the world. Octomom brought even more. You have all these fucking morons reproducing 4 times as many times as the smarter kids and no wonder why the world is getting stupid. So maybe that explains why so many people need country music to express themselves.
Hey, I like drinking. I like grilling. I like being around my friends and family. All of these things I have in common with country music. However, most importantly, I like being an individual. Frankly, I don't need to obsess over country music to reflect my pride in the lifestyle I choose to lead.
For those of you who do have no brain and act in order to fit in, may you go to Countryfest and never come back. For those of you who need country music to express yourself as a laid back guy who likes to drink with friends and have a good time, may you go to Countryfest and never come back. For anyone in the Northeast who goes to Countryfest, may you go there and never come back.
Seriously though. When you go next year, don't come back. In fact, go form your own colony of insecure morons and live happily ever after posting facebook pictures of each other wearing cowboy hats and drinking out of red plastic cups in parking lots. Cuz if you are in fact doing those things, that's what you belong doing. So next year when you go, do the world a favor and just stay. Nobody will notice, let alone miss you.
-- Boosh
Wednesday, August 19, 2009
Two Big S's coming this way
Well, one is already here, but still. Both Sonic and Southwest Airlines coming to Boston within 30 days of each other? Pretty darn impressive. As I sit and watch Man vs. Food (the best show on TV these days), I cant help but want to tell the tale of my journey to Sonic.
It was a cold winter in 2003. Sonic had started airing its ads on national television that winter and boy, they sure made their food look good. So I went online and found out that the closest Sonic sat in Virginia Beach in 2003. These days, before MA, the closest Sonic was in PA. So I decided that I would drive down to Virginia Beach that summer and try Sonic.
First, I recruited Davis, Byrne, and Jimmy. Naturally, I started bragging about my trip and one of my teachers, Bobby Brigida, suggested I contact Sonic and let them know about my plan. So I email Sonic's VP of communications and sure enough, she loves it. So, of course Jimmy backs out at the last second and the three of us take my car down. We left at 4pm on Friday and 14 hours later, we arrived in Virginia beach. The VP of Sonic flew out there to meet us.
So at 6am, on Saturday, we head to our first Sonic to get some burgers. We were greeted with news cameras because one news station in the area was broadcasting our arrival live that morning. We did a few morning bits sampling our food and people who were watching swung by on the way to work to come and meet us.
Throughout the morning we did more television bits for the news and I also did a radio interview that morning. All in all, we had downed about 10-12 burgers in a matter of 3 hours. Awesome. The Sonic Tour continued as we travled to our next Sonic (there were 3 in the area). I remember in one interview, I was asked if I was sticking around Virginia Beach. While the offer sounded tempting, I didn't want to be accused of making this a Virginia Beach trip. I came here for the Sonic, not for the beach. So, I said, no, we're leaving when we are done with Sonic.
Before our final dinner at our final Sonic, I received a phone call from the Boston Globe. They were going to do a small piece on my trip. This was all pretty awesome. After meeting all of Sonic's regional officers and one of their corporate officers, we were pretty much on our own.
Oh, I forgot to mention that all of our food was free. Between the three of us, I'd like to think we conquered the entire 2003 Sonic menu. Did the food live up to the hype? absolutely. So after our dinner, we hung around the area for the night and then got some rest. We left Sunday morning. I went to work the next day and was immediately called out by my co-workers who had no idea about the trip and called me an idiot, moron, psycho, etc. for electing my 15 minutes of fame to be about a fast food road trip.
I have no regrets. So when you eat at Sonic and talk about how awesome it is because you ate their twice on your spring break, just remember, you never drove over 1000 miles just to try it. Myself, Davis, and Byrne are the original Sonic Pioneers. You'll pay homage to me...someday.
As for Southwest, I'm personally a Jet Blue guy right now. But Im certainly going to try Southwest very soon; maybe on my next chicago trip so I can avoid the disaster that is O Hare airport and try out Midway for a change. Anyways, Man v. Food is about to do the challenge so Im out.
It was a cold winter in 2003. Sonic had started airing its ads on national television that winter and boy, they sure made their food look good. So I went online and found out that the closest Sonic sat in Virginia Beach in 2003. These days, before MA, the closest Sonic was in PA. So I decided that I would drive down to Virginia Beach that summer and try Sonic.
First, I recruited Davis, Byrne, and Jimmy. Naturally, I started bragging about my trip and one of my teachers, Bobby Brigida, suggested I contact Sonic and let them know about my plan. So I email Sonic's VP of communications and sure enough, she loves it. So, of course Jimmy backs out at the last second and the three of us take my car down. We left at 4pm on Friday and 14 hours later, we arrived in Virginia beach. The VP of Sonic flew out there to meet us.
So at 6am, on Saturday, we head to our first Sonic to get some burgers. We were greeted with news cameras because one news station in the area was broadcasting our arrival live that morning. We did a few morning bits sampling our food and people who were watching swung by on the way to work to come and meet us.
Throughout the morning we did more television bits for the news and I also did a radio interview that morning. All in all, we had downed about 10-12 burgers in a matter of 3 hours. Awesome. The Sonic Tour continued as we travled to our next Sonic (there were 3 in the area). I remember in one interview, I was asked if I was sticking around Virginia Beach. While the offer sounded tempting, I didn't want to be accused of making this a Virginia Beach trip. I came here for the Sonic, not for the beach. So, I said, no, we're leaving when we are done with Sonic.
Before our final dinner at our final Sonic, I received a phone call from the Boston Globe. They were going to do a small piece on my trip. This was all pretty awesome. After meeting all of Sonic's regional officers and one of their corporate officers, we were pretty much on our own.
Oh, I forgot to mention that all of our food was free. Between the three of us, I'd like to think we conquered the entire 2003 Sonic menu. Did the food live up to the hype? absolutely. So after our dinner, we hung around the area for the night and then got some rest. We left Sunday morning. I went to work the next day and was immediately called out by my co-workers who had no idea about the trip and called me an idiot, moron, psycho, etc. for electing my 15 minutes of fame to be about a fast food road trip.
I have no regrets. So when you eat at Sonic and talk about how awesome it is because you ate their twice on your spring break, just remember, you never drove over 1000 miles just to try it. Myself, Davis, and Byrne are the original Sonic Pioneers. You'll pay homage to me...someday.
As for Southwest, I'm personally a Jet Blue guy right now. But Im certainly going to try Southwest very soon; maybe on my next chicago trip so I can avoid the disaster that is O Hare airport and try out Midway for a change. Anyways, Man v. Food is about to do the challenge so Im out.
-- Boosh
Wedding Weekend Recap
Well....this past weekend was awesome. It went way beyond expectations that I had for how this bad mamajama was gonna shake out. Here is the Day-by-Day Break Down
Thursday:
Rehearsal Dinner night. Come back to Tewksbury just in time to pick up JimmyJames at his house and head over to the church. Per usual, with everything with life, we started late. I am already kinda upset because this solidifies the fact that I am going to miss the first Pats Pre-Season Game and Terrific Tom's first snaps in almost a year. The rehearsal at the church goes fairly well...I am also pretty stoked that I have next to nothing to do as the best man. All I got to do is stand next to Dave and make sure he doesn't run away or fall completely flat on his face, pretty confident in my abilities to be able to do this.
From there we head on over to the Tewksbury Country Club. Ive never been able to go into the function area, because apparently I am not worthy of it...doesn't really surprise. So right when we walk into the function area I am looking for a television. Obviously there isn't one. I start to cry tears of defeat. I text about 10 people I know that are watching the game to give me updates about Tom. Dave's dad right away heads to the bar and buys drinks for me and Jimmy all night long, even after we offer to buy the drinks ourselves. So we eat dinner and they show a picture slide show of Dave and Stephanie through the years. Nice little touch. There was only one picture of me and Jimmy and Dave and it was from when we were 16 playing senior Babe Ruth baseball, its a sweet picture minus Jimmy doing his typical "shirt rolled up, flexing tricep" move. This was pre-tattoo on his arm and obviously at 16 none of us had any muscles, what the fuck where you doing??? Anyways, after this, the future bride and groom talk a little bit about all the people in the wedding party and give us gifts. We got a couple stogies each, a Swiss army knife engraved with our initials on it, a flask/cigar holder combo with our names engraved on it, and I got a zippo with "Rock Daddy"engraved on it. Good work Dave. After exchanging a few stories with both sides of the family, me and Jimmy head to the Sky box....terrible decision on our part. Should have just went right home. I end up late night practicing my best man speech drunk in my underwear at 1:30 am. Wake up Debbie Rocco...she was not happy.
Friday:
Go up to Jimmy's camp ground. Work on the base tan a little. Try fishing and instead we try to catch a turtle that is the same size as my torso. Fail miserably. We go back and Smash Hamilton does some outstanding BBQ work. Head back home around 6 and then just lay low for the night.
Saturday:
Its wedding day baby. Wake up around 8 ish. Pick up Jimmy and drive over to Dave's house. Have a nice little day of fishing planned. Mr. Fogaren is already cooking breakfast. Hang out for a bit and start the fishing. It is 1,000 degrees, zero chance of catching anything so we all kill a few beers, work a little harder on the base tan and head back. Go back to Dave's house and work on the mid range game with the pitching area he has in his backyard...go 0-20 trying to get the ball onto the green, then go on an unreal hot streak and I cant not get it on the green. This was obviously a good sign and start to the day. Leave Dave's house around 2...head to the Westford Regency where the reception was gonna be and check into my hotel room. Get back to the house and now its time to get into party mode. So I grab a beer and head into the shower and start to get ready for the night. Needless to say when I was finished getting ready I looked fucking good. Dressed and now its time to head over to Dave's house...take some pics with the guys, Dave's mom and dad and some randoms and head over to the Church. Its showtime.
Now I am helping bring people to there seats and make sure everything is where its supposed to be. The Church starts filling up and now for some reason I start to get butterflies. I feel like I am in high school and I am going to vomit right before the opening kickoff. Take a few pics, take a piss and its go time. It was a nice little mass and went off without any hitches. The only problem was that for some reason the church refused to put on the air conditioning. Throughout the hour long mass I am sweating uncontrollably. Its borderline embarrassing/disgusting how much I am sweating. Mass ends, we leave hop into the limp and are on our way. Two problems with this...no alcohol and the air conditioning was useless. What the fuck!!! Now Ia m nervous that this is a sign that things weren't going to go right for the night. Things only got worst when our limo driver didn't know where we were going and I had to direct him around Westford to the hotel....
Get to the Regency, take some photos outside then head into take all the formal pics. Its open bar for the entire time we are taking photos. Not only did we take some great pics, but now the mix of uncontrollable sweating alcohol is starting to kick in. Now we finish that up and they are about to make the introductions. They bring us all in and Dave and Stephanie have their first dance. Things are going well. We make our way over to the head table and have some down time before dinner/speeches, so I make the rounds. After a few minutes of this they call us up to give the toasts. Now the M.O.H wanted to say something quick, so I let her go before me. Then...my speech came. It was a massive hit. I would love to go into more detail but Jimmy's dad taped it, so once we figure it out, that will be up on Droppin'Treats along with a copy of the speech. After this we ate dinner and shit got weird. Our waitress placed down two bottles of wine in front me and said they are all yours. I tried to make out with her but she was gone before I could get her. This was the beginning of the end of the night for, but it brought back out my inner Rockdaddy. Some highlights include, looking like Vince Vaughn in the dancing montage in "Wedding Crashers" with my ability to spin some ladies and as well have that killer instinct and when to make my move, I was dancing with a random 6 year old on my shoulders for about a half hour and he didn't fall once, I danced with every mom there, sang every song and was in on every line dance, and was out on the dance floor with bottles of wine passing it around all night long.
I will not make any comment about the situation with D and my sister. This will be dealt in house.
Like Boosh said, the after party wasn't a real party it was more a cool down session. Had a few more cocktails and went to bed.
Sunday:
Wake up from a text from Dave about brunch. Still drunk. I try to eat and nearly vomit in front of Dave's side of the family. I pull it together and just decide to leave. I waited in the lobby for Boosh for about 20 minutes. He walks out in exactly what he wore the night before, except it is all now wrinkled and his man chest is exposed. All we do is giggle on the ride home. I spend the next hours trying to nap and piece together the night before.
All in all, it was an outstanding time. I am looking forward to getting the best man speech up on the site. I think its going to be something that everyone will enjoy. I cant wait for the next wedding, whoevers it is.
-Rockdaddy
Thursday:
Rehearsal Dinner night. Come back to Tewksbury just in time to pick up JimmyJames at his house and head over to the church. Per usual, with everything with life, we started late. I am already kinda upset because this solidifies the fact that I am going to miss the first Pats Pre-Season Game and Terrific Tom's first snaps in almost a year. The rehearsal at the church goes fairly well...I am also pretty stoked that I have next to nothing to do as the best man. All I got to do is stand next to Dave and make sure he doesn't run away or fall completely flat on his face, pretty confident in my abilities to be able to do this.
From there we head on over to the Tewksbury Country Club. Ive never been able to go into the function area, because apparently I am not worthy of it...doesn't really surprise. So right when we walk into the function area I am looking for a television. Obviously there isn't one. I start to cry tears of defeat. I text about 10 people I know that are watching the game to give me updates about Tom. Dave's dad right away heads to the bar and buys drinks for me and Jimmy all night long, even after we offer to buy the drinks ourselves. So we eat dinner and they show a picture slide show of Dave and Stephanie through the years. Nice little touch. There was only one picture of me and Jimmy and Dave and it was from when we were 16 playing senior Babe Ruth baseball, its a sweet picture minus Jimmy doing his typical "shirt rolled up, flexing tricep" move. This was pre-tattoo on his arm and obviously at 16 none of us had any muscles, what the fuck where you doing??? Anyways, after this, the future bride and groom talk a little bit about all the people in the wedding party and give us gifts. We got a couple stogies each, a Swiss army knife engraved with our initials on it, a flask/cigar holder combo with our names engraved on it, and I got a zippo with "Rock Daddy"engraved on it. Good work Dave. After exchanging a few stories with both sides of the family, me and Jimmy head to the Sky box....terrible decision on our part. Should have just went right home. I end up late night practicing my best man speech drunk in my underwear at 1:30 am. Wake up Debbie Rocco...she was not happy.
Friday:
Go up to Jimmy's camp ground. Work on the base tan a little. Try fishing and instead we try to catch a turtle that is the same size as my torso. Fail miserably. We go back and Smash Hamilton does some outstanding BBQ work. Head back home around 6 and then just lay low for the night.
Saturday:
Its wedding day baby. Wake up around 8 ish. Pick up Jimmy and drive over to Dave's house. Have a nice little day of fishing planned. Mr. Fogaren is already cooking breakfast. Hang out for a bit and start the fishing. It is 1,000 degrees, zero chance of catching anything so we all kill a few beers, work a little harder on the base tan and head back. Go back to Dave's house and work on the mid range game with the pitching area he has in his backyard...go 0-20 trying to get the ball onto the green, then go on an unreal hot streak and I cant not get it on the green. This was obviously a good sign and start to the day. Leave Dave's house around 2...head to the Westford Regency where the reception was gonna be and check into my hotel room. Get back to the house and now its time to get into party mode. So I grab a beer and head into the shower and start to get ready for the night. Needless to say when I was finished getting ready I looked fucking good. Dressed and now its time to head over to Dave's house...take some pics with the guys, Dave's mom and dad and some randoms and head over to the Church. Its showtime.
Now I am helping bring people to there seats and make sure everything is where its supposed to be. The Church starts filling up and now for some reason I start to get butterflies. I feel like I am in high school and I am going to vomit right before the opening kickoff. Take a few pics, take a piss and its go time. It was a nice little mass and went off without any hitches. The only problem was that for some reason the church refused to put on the air conditioning. Throughout the hour long mass I am sweating uncontrollably. Its borderline embarrassing/disgusting how much I am sweating. Mass ends, we leave hop into the limp and are on our way. Two problems with this...no alcohol and the air conditioning was useless. What the fuck!!! Now Ia m nervous that this is a sign that things weren't going to go right for the night. Things only got worst when our limo driver didn't know where we were going and I had to direct him around Westford to the hotel....
Get to the Regency, take some photos outside then head into take all the formal pics. Its open bar for the entire time we are taking photos. Not only did we take some great pics, but now the mix of uncontrollable sweating alcohol is starting to kick in. Now we finish that up and they are about to make the introductions. They bring us all in and Dave and Stephanie have their first dance. Things are going well. We make our way over to the head table and have some down time before dinner/speeches, so I make the rounds. After a few minutes of this they call us up to give the toasts. Now the M.O.H wanted to say something quick, so I let her go before me. Then...my speech came. It was a massive hit. I would love to go into more detail but Jimmy's dad taped it, so once we figure it out, that will be up on Droppin'Treats along with a copy of the speech. After this we ate dinner and shit got weird. Our waitress placed down two bottles of wine in front me and said they are all yours. I tried to make out with her but she was gone before I could get her. This was the beginning of the end of the night for, but it brought back out my inner Rockdaddy. Some highlights include, looking like Vince Vaughn in the dancing montage in "Wedding Crashers" with my ability to spin some ladies and as well have that killer instinct and when to make my move, I was dancing with a random 6 year old on my shoulders for about a half hour and he didn't fall once, I danced with every mom there, sang every song and was in on every line dance, and was out on the dance floor with bottles of wine passing it around all night long.
I will not make any comment about the situation with D and my sister. This will be dealt in house.
Like Boosh said, the after party wasn't a real party it was more a cool down session. Had a few more cocktails and went to bed.
Sunday:
Wake up from a text from Dave about brunch. Still drunk. I try to eat and nearly vomit in front of Dave's side of the family. I pull it together and just decide to leave. I waited in the lobby for Boosh for about 20 minutes. He walks out in exactly what he wore the night before, except it is all now wrinkled and his man chest is exposed. All we do is giggle on the ride home. I spend the next hours trying to nap and piece together the night before.
All in all, it was an outstanding time. I am looking forward to getting the best man speech up on the site. I think its going to be something that everyone will enjoy. I cant wait for the next wedding, whoevers it is.
-Rockdaddy
2009 Yahoo Fantasy Football League Team by Team Breakdown
Team 8 "This is My Year" and Coach Yukna
The Detroit Lions, the Washington Nationals/Montreal Expos, LA Clippers...all perennial cellar dwellers. You can add another name to this list, Coach Michael Yukna. To say that he has been a disaster as a manager would be an understatement. Even calling it an abortion would be a little bit of a compliment. Listen Mel Kiper Jr cant waste time writing about this when he has to get geared up for potential trades, pre-season all conference picks and combing my hair. Coach Yukna, also known as "Yuk" which kinda describes his teams performances, has one appearance in the top half of the standings in any of his leagues. When scuffling teams see him on the roster, they see a win. He is the male fantasy football version of a slump buster.
With all this being said, Coach Yuk has the clout to make some moves, but unfortunately all his moves end up blowing up faster than Nagasaki did after getting the A-bomb dropped on its faced. If he could make some moves that aren't terrible, he could be someone that can threaten to be a .500 team and ruin some seasons for people down the stretch....but in all reality, it wont happen, expect to see Coach Yukna at the bottom of every big board prediction for this up coming season.
Tomorrow...Team #7 Coach Matthew "Bug" Gaynor...Asian Persuasion...ewwww
-Rockdaddy
The Detroit Lions, the Washington Nationals/Montreal Expos, LA Clippers...all perennial cellar dwellers. You can add another name to this list, Coach Michael Yukna. To say that he has been a disaster as a manager would be an understatement. Even calling it an abortion would be a little bit of a compliment. Listen Mel Kiper Jr cant waste time writing about this when he has to get geared up for potential trades, pre-season all conference picks and combing my hair. Coach Yukna, also known as "Yuk" which kinda describes his teams performances, has one appearance in the top half of the standings in any of his leagues. When scuffling teams see him on the roster, they see a win. He is the male fantasy football version of a slump buster.
With all this being said, Coach Yuk has the clout to make some moves, but unfortunately all his moves end up blowing up faster than Nagasaki did after getting the A-bomb dropped on its faced. If he could make some moves that aren't terrible, he could be someone that can threaten to be a .500 team and ruin some seasons for people down the stretch....but in all reality, it wont happen, expect to see Coach Yukna at the bottom of every big board prediction for this up coming season.
Tomorrow...Team #7 Coach Matthew "Bug" Gaynor...Asian Persuasion...ewwww
-Rockdaddy
2009 Yahoo Fantasy Football League Team by Team Breakdown
Team #9 "The Bellistrator" with Manager David A. Irving
Good evening everyone. Yes I know it is late on Sunday night but that is how Mel Kiper Jr. works; all day, every day. Sorry for some of the slacking over the past few days as well, i had some prognostication to get done for the 2018 draft. Some real promising players look to be emerging in the class.
We now move on to Team #9 "The Bellistrator" and manager David A. Irving. A lot is left to be seen with Coach Irving. This will be hands down the hardest competition Irving has ever had in his life and it should be interesting to see if he can handle this competition or if he is over his head. In his limited experience though in football Coach Irving has brought home the goods with a 2nd Place finish. The only problem about this 2nd place finish is that this took place in a "hidden" league. So god knows he was probably going against the Perkins School for the Blind.
Despite his lack of experience, Irving has a massive amount of upside. More known for his biceps which he has worked tirelessly to perfect the perfect bicep pump shape, he has a bevy of knowledge in football and the actual ability to strong arm some one if he doesn't get his way. He will literally put you in a bicep choke hold to get a trade to go through. But Coach Irving has been identified as the sleeper pick in this years league, he has all the intangibles that I look for in a Coach...Brash, Energetic, Bold, and a great chin.
Tomorrow we look at Team "This is My Year" and Coach Yukna
-Rockdaddy
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Boycott ESPN.com
I can't believe I haven't wrote about this yet. About 2 years ago, I boycotted ESPN because of their ridiculously unfair coverage of sports. Brett Favre getting front page after front page. Greg Easterbrook being the biggest idiot on the planet. They wrote all about Marshawn Lynch running over someone's foot but never wrote about Marvin Harrison SHOOTING a guy. All they do is pander to idiots and cover big stories. They rarely cover little stories, which is what I thought ESPN was created to do. I still watch the network, but I am without a doubt done with the website.
Sports Guy was never really that funny to begin with. He wrote about how the Patriots are exactly like the New York Yankees. He thinks Snoop Dogg never sold out? Get with reality pal. As for Easterbrook, I can't stand him. Unfortunately, the ONLY way to send a message is to ignore the website completely. Even if you read him because you hate him, guess what, that's still a hit on his article and frankly, thats all ESPN and the advertisers care about. So as much as you want to read Easterbrook's latest shitty article, you really should resist temptation if you ever want him to lose his job (which is what I want).
Let's look at what happened with Steelers QB Big Ben. A woman sues him for raping her. All of the other sports outlets covered it except for ESPN. Why? Well, apparently Big Ben is a star on an upcoming ABC show this fall (ABC owns ESPN). When charges are finally dropped a few days later, ESPN starts reporting on the case. When asked about why ESPN didnt cover the original story to begin with like the rest of the country, some exec said "oh well we dont like to report on those things because we dont like to ruin athlete's reputations prematurely.
WEIRD. I REMEMBER IN 2008 WHEN SUPERBOWL WEEK THE SAME EXACT THING HAPPENED WITH RANDY MOSS. SOME WOMAN WAS LOOKING FOR A PAYOUT AND FILED A SEXUAL ASSAULT SUIT. ESPN HAD NO FACTS AND YET ALL OVER THE FRONT PAGE ESPN WAS CALLING MOSS A RAPIST. Same exact situation.
ESPN sucks. Join my boycott of the website. You can get all of your sports information from other places. There are plenty of other websites to get your sports news. cnnsi, cbssports, even yahoosports isn't half awful. You don't have to join my boycott, but think about it. Arent you sick of hearing about Brett Favre? don't you want to send a message? Or at least try to send a message? Boycott ESPN. I'm so sick of their antics.
Sports Guy was never really that funny to begin with. He wrote about how the Patriots are exactly like the New York Yankees. He thinks Snoop Dogg never sold out? Get with reality pal. As for Easterbrook, I can't stand him. Unfortunately, the ONLY way to send a message is to ignore the website completely. Even if you read him because you hate him, guess what, that's still a hit on his article and frankly, thats all ESPN and the advertisers care about. So as much as you want to read Easterbrook's latest shitty article, you really should resist temptation if you ever want him to lose his job (which is what I want).
Let's look at what happened with Steelers QB Big Ben. A woman sues him for raping her. All of the other sports outlets covered it except for ESPN. Why? Well, apparently Big Ben is a star on an upcoming ABC show this fall (ABC owns ESPN). When charges are finally dropped a few days later, ESPN starts reporting on the case. When asked about why ESPN didnt cover the original story to begin with like the rest of the country, some exec said "oh well we dont like to report on those things because we dont like to ruin athlete's reputations prematurely.
WEIRD. I REMEMBER IN 2008 WHEN SUPERBOWL WEEK THE SAME EXACT THING HAPPENED WITH RANDY MOSS. SOME WOMAN WAS LOOKING FOR A PAYOUT AND FILED A SEXUAL ASSAULT SUIT. ESPN HAD NO FACTS AND YET ALL OVER THE FRONT PAGE ESPN WAS CALLING MOSS A RAPIST. Same exact situation.
ESPN sucks. Join my boycott of the website. You can get all of your sports information from other places. There are plenty of other websites to get your sports news. cnnsi, cbssports, even yahoosports isn't half awful. You don't have to join my boycott, but think about it. Arent you sick of hearing about Brett Favre? don't you want to send a message? Or at least try to send a message? Boycott ESPN. I'm so sick of their antics.
-- Boosh
Monday, August 17, 2009
"Dean" Steals the show at Fogie's Wedding
Well folks, the wedding definitely lived up to the billing. I arrived at St. Williams about 10 minutes before the show got under way. Probably the last person there. I sat all the way in the back so nobody would notice me sweating or groaning throughout the brainwas--mass. St. Williams naturally didnt have any AC and didnt turn the ceiling fans on. Apparently church and state is only separated when people aren't trying to indoctrinate politics with Jesus and consequently churches were left out of the stimulus bill. I don't know who made this decision, but letting Jimmy be responsible for rolling out the rug from the altar? How that didnt turn into a disaster is beyond me.
Anyhow, after the mass it was regency time. I checked into my room and made my way down to the reception. The reception was like going to the Tewksbury resident Hall of Fame. The bar opened and within 5 minutes, Big Tony Corsino had stole the mic from the DJ and started singing "That's Amore" to the audience. That's not an exaggeration.
The Maid of Honor and Best Man Speeches didnt disappoint. Amanda had a tough challenge going against Rocco and she held her own. Rocco pulled out all stops in his speech ranging from homoerotic false prophecies, blown up pictures of man-dates, and telling the tale of how he arguably started the relationship. Rocco surprisngly pulled a classy move in noting that Smash Hamilton was turning 50 that day and urged the crowd to offer some congratulatory claps.
Dinner is served and by 9pm, Jimmy has already been forced to put his tie back on...twice. It didnt help that the groomsmen's vests happen to match the wait-staff at the regency. Well, actually it did help, as Rocco and Jimmy brought my table more wine, nobody even questioned it. As always, Jimmy went the extra mile and began taking peoples plates and glasses from them.
As people got more hammered, the dance floor opened up; and surprisingly, it stayed crowded for the entire night. This is where "Dean" made his appearance. When the lovely bride tossed her bouquet, it seemed only fitting that Alicia Rocco would catch it. Now, begged the question: Who would catch the garter? But more importantly, who would dare slip the garter up Alicia's leg in front of her older brother?
Rocco had a plan, he had enlisted the services of several burly and muscular men like me to hoist TC on our shoulders to make him a lock to catch the garter. Apparently, Rocco felt most comfortable with TC doing the honors. Fogie turned around and tossed it. The garter floated in the air, TC reached out his arms and just as it appeared he was about to reach up Alicia's thigh, a blurring whiz dove into the air, snatched the garter and ran around the dance floor in a rage of excitement and celebration.
The DJ shouted "Who was that?! Who caught the garter?!"
Oh, somewhere in this favored land the sun is shining bright;
The band is playing somewhere, and somewhere hearts are light,
And somewhere men are laughing, and somewhere children shout;
But there was no joy in Rocco— Mighty D had caught the garter.
So they shouted "D! D caught the garter" The DJ announced to the reception. "Ladies and gentlemen, Dean has caught the garter belt!" In what seemed to be the cruelest part of what was an amazing night, Rocco watched in agony as D, with a twisted grin I haven't seen since Norman Bates was locked in a cell by himself, ran his hand up and down Alicia's thigh.
From there, it was the Dean show. The DJ started the conga line and Dean led the charge. In fact, Dean might not have left the dance floor for the rest of the evening. The after party was filled with alcohol, but lethargic in nature. I extended a warm invitation to almost everyone at the reception but at most there was about 10 people in my room at one time.
I woke up the next morning, realized I forgot my change of clothes and proceeded to put on my wrinkled, sweat-stained, beer-smelling shirt and suit pants. Walked out my room with the leftover alcohol. Strolled through the lobby which was packed with a family celebrating a 50th anniversary. As the piano softly played "Can you feel the love tonight?", I trudged with a face that would make Nick Nolte's mug shot look like a Men's Health Cover. Fathers shielded their sons, I may have even frightened a little girl to tears, from what was surely to be the most disturbing thing those Westford Yahoos ever saw on a Sunday morning.
I then proceeded to drive up to NH for a family party and put down another 3 gallons of alcohol. I could piss into a homeless guy's mouth and he'd say thank you.
Anyhow, after the mass it was regency time. I checked into my room and made my way down to the reception. The reception was like going to the Tewksbury resident Hall of Fame. The bar opened and within 5 minutes, Big Tony Corsino had stole the mic from the DJ and started singing "That's Amore" to the audience. That's not an exaggeration.
The Maid of Honor and Best Man Speeches didnt disappoint. Amanda had a tough challenge going against Rocco and she held her own. Rocco pulled out all stops in his speech ranging from homoerotic false prophecies, blown up pictures of man-dates, and telling the tale of how he arguably started the relationship. Rocco surprisngly pulled a classy move in noting that Smash Hamilton was turning 50 that day and urged the crowd to offer some congratulatory claps.
Dinner is served and by 9pm, Jimmy has already been forced to put his tie back on...twice. It didnt help that the groomsmen's vests happen to match the wait-staff at the regency. Well, actually it did help, as Rocco and Jimmy brought my table more wine, nobody even questioned it. As always, Jimmy went the extra mile and began taking peoples plates and glasses from them.
As people got more hammered, the dance floor opened up; and surprisingly, it stayed crowded for the entire night. This is where "Dean" made his appearance. When the lovely bride tossed her bouquet, it seemed only fitting that Alicia Rocco would catch it. Now, begged the question: Who would catch the garter? But more importantly, who would dare slip the garter up Alicia's leg in front of her older brother?
Rocco had a plan, he had enlisted the services of several burly and muscular men like me to hoist TC on our shoulders to make him a lock to catch the garter. Apparently, Rocco felt most comfortable with TC doing the honors. Fogie turned around and tossed it. The garter floated in the air, TC reached out his arms and just as it appeared he was about to reach up Alicia's thigh, a blurring whiz dove into the air, snatched the garter and ran around the dance floor in a rage of excitement and celebration.
The DJ shouted "Who was that?! Who caught the garter?!"
Oh, somewhere in this favored land the sun is shining bright;
The band is playing somewhere, and somewhere hearts are light,
And somewhere men are laughing, and somewhere children shout;
But there was no joy in Rocco— Mighty D had caught the garter.
So they shouted "D! D caught the garter" The DJ announced to the reception. "Ladies and gentlemen, Dean has caught the garter belt!" In what seemed to be the cruelest part of what was an amazing night, Rocco watched in agony as D, with a twisted grin I haven't seen since Norman Bates was locked in a cell by himself, ran his hand up and down Alicia's thigh.
From there, it was the Dean show. The DJ started the conga line and Dean led the charge. In fact, Dean might not have left the dance floor for the rest of the evening. The after party was filled with alcohol, but lethargic in nature. I extended a warm invitation to almost everyone at the reception but at most there was about 10 people in my room at one time.
I woke up the next morning, realized I forgot my change of clothes and proceeded to put on my wrinkled, sweat-stained, beer-smelling shirt and suit pants. Walked out my room with the leftover alcohol. Strolled through the lobby which was packed with a family celebrating a 50th anniversary. As the piano softly played "Can you feel the love tonight?", I trudged with a face that would make Nick Nolte's mug shot look like a Men's Health Cover. Fathers shielded their sons, I may have even frightened a little girl to tears, from what was surely to be the most disturbing thing those Westford Yahoos ever saw on a Sunday morning.
I then proceeded to drive up to NH for a family party and put down another 3 gallons of alcohol. I could piss into a homeless guy's mouth and he'd say thank you.
-- Boosh
Thursday, August 13, 2009
Tough Loss
The US Mexico Game was certainly an exciting one. The US jumped out to an early lead but pretty much disappeared for the rest of the game. The defense played great. The offense didn't exist. Here are the current standings for World Cup Qualifying
just highlight if u want to read it cuz i dont know how to fix it
It's not that pretty right now. The US controls its own destiny here with a game against both Costa Rica and Honduras remaining. It should be noted that the top 3 teams here will make the World Cup. On a side note, how badly does it suck that I will be studying for the bar during the 2010 World Cup in South Africa?
The US may have beat the best team in the world this summer, but other than that, its been a whole lot of garbage. They'd better shape up or else America will have nothing to cheer for come next June.
| World Cup Qualifying - CONCACAF Fourth Round | ||||||||
| GP | W | D | L | GS | GC | GD | P | |
| Costa Rica | 6 | 4 | 0 | 2 | 9 | 9 | 0 | 12 |
| United States | 6 | 3 | 1 | 2 | 11 | 8 | 3 | 10 |
| Honduras | 6 | 3 | 1 | 2 | 10 | 6 | 4 | 10 |
| Mexico | 6 | 3 | 0 | 3 | 8 | 9 | -1 | 9 |
| Trinidad & Tobago | 6 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 7 | 11 | -4 | 5 |
| El Salvador | 6 | 1 | 2 | 3 | 6 | 8 | -2 | 5 |
just highlight if u want to read it cuz i dont know how to fix it
It's not that pretty right now. The US controls its own destiny here with a game against both Costa Rica and Honduras remaining. It should be noted that the top 3 teams here will make the World Cup. On a side note, how badly does it suck that I will be studying for the bar during the 2010 World Cup in South Africa?
The US may have beat the best team in the world this summer, but other than that, its been a whole lot of garbage. They'd better shape up or else America will have nothing to cheer for come next June.
-- Boosh
2009 Yahoo Fantasy Football League Team by Team Breakdown
Team #10 "SullDog Hot Heads" and manager Nicholas X. Lee
We now move on to our third team, the "SullDog Hot Heads" that are Managed by Nicholas X. Lee. In many ways, Coach Lee is no different that life. Life has two guarantees, death and taxes. Coach Lee has two guarantees as well; he will be blacked out by his 3rd pick and that he will lose interest in the league by week 4. Its inevitable. Its like trying to tell the Sun that it wont come up in the morning.
Despite his unconventional coaching techniques, Coach Lee is probably one of the top level coaches in this league when it comes down to one stat, and that's winning. He is a modern day Billy Martin. I had to use a baseball coach because to be perfectly frank there is no football parallel. Lee has competed in over 30 fantasy leagues now and consistently finishes in the top half of his league. This means one thing, genius that we have taken for granted all these years or complete sh*t luck. It doesn't matter what sport, he just finds a way to get results.
Unfortunately last year though, Coach Lee suffered one of his toughest seasons ever. Now whether that is because a jump of competition or lack of focus on his part we wont find that out until this season.
Coach Lee has no "WOW" factor to his game. Everything he does is fairly consistent. He drafts pretty well and only makes moves when he feels necessary and doesn't try to push the envelope. This shows a lot of trust in your ability to draft, especially in league with gun slinging owners who look to deal deal deal. Coach Lee has shown that he will only make moves that he is confident in, he takes no risks.
All of these strengths are weaknesses as well. When he is hot making decisions there is no one better. But when the sh** hits the fan and his team stumbles, he has a tough time coming out of these holes. It should be interesting to see if Lee learns from his experiences last season. Also, it should be an interesting plot line if all the success he had was against weaker competition, or if truly last year a just a blip on the radar screen that is Coach Lee's underrated and quite frankly under appreciated coaching technique and style.
Tomorrow we crack the single digit numbers with Team #9 "The Bellistrator" with Manager David A. Irving.
Despite his unconventional coaching techniques, Coach Lee is probably one of the top level coaches in this league when it comes down to one stat, and that's winning. He is a modern day Billy Martin. I had to use a baseball coach because to be perfectly frank there is no football parallel. Lee has competed in over 30 fantasy leagues now and consistently finishes in the top half of his league. This means one thing, genius that we have taken for granted all these years or complete sh*t luck. It doesn't matter what sport, he just finds a way to get results.
Unfortunately last year though, Coach Lee suffered one of his toughest seasons ever. Now whether that is because a jump of competition or lack of focus on his part we wont find that out until this season.
Coach Lee has no "WOW" factor to his game. Everything he does is fairly consistent. He drafts pretty well and only makes moves when he feels necessary and doesn't try to push the envelope. This shows a lot of trust in your ability to draft, especially in league with gun slinging owners who look to deal deal deal. Coach Lee has shown that he will only make moves that he is confident in, he takes no risks.
All of these strengths are weaknesses as well. When he is hot making decisions there is no one better. But when the sh** hits the fan and his team stumbles, he has a tough time coming out of these holes. It should be interesting to see if Lee learns from his experiences last season. Also, it should be an interesting plot line if all the success he had was against weaker competition, or if truly last year a just a blip on the radar screen that is Coach Lee's underrated and quite frankly under appreciated coaching technique and style.
Tomorrow we crack the single digit numbers with Team #9 "The Bellistrator" with Manager David A. Irving.
-Rockdaddy
Wednesday, August 12, 2009
2009 Yahoo Fantasy Football League Team by Team Breakdown
Team #11 "Champagne Campaign" with team manager Ryan Q. Doyle
Good afternoon everyone, Mel Kiper Jr. here for your second installment of your 2009 Yahoo Fantasy Football League Team Breakdowns. In installment one yesterday we talked about Team "Sweep the Leg" and Manager Kevin D. Field. Today will be Team "Champagne Campaign" and manager Ryan Q. Doyle.
When you look at overall resumes, you couldn't get two people that are further apart than Coach Doyle and Coach Field. Doyle, affectionately known as "Quinton" or "Q" in his close group of coaching professional friends, the seasoned veteran in numerous fantasy leagues has proven time and time again to be able to find a way to bend the rules and find loop holes in rules to help benefit the team. Coach Doyle is not out in any of these leagues to make friends. He has one thing on his mind and that's the championship. Unfortunately for him, victories come few and far between and his teams have been characterized greatly for collapsing at the end of the season. The phrase "Doyleian Season" gets its roots in years past and in other leagues but was no more apparent than last years team that had a commanding overall lead going into the final two weeks of the season, only two lose the final games and then draw the 6th seed in the playoffs, only to collapse in the first round of the playoffs to league runner up in Coach Field.
Make no mistake though, Coach Doyle exudes confidence and bravado on the sidelines during the week of preparation. He has been known to be constantly checking his blackberry at parties and at work to try to snatch up players that become free agents before others. Also, he is not afraid to make any trade, which besides his confidence, is probably his biggest strength as a coach. If he thinks trading away his number 1QB will make his team better you better believe that Coach Doyle is going to try and wine and dine you to take him up on that trade. He has been known to fire out over 30 trade ideas in a week to try to enhance his team. Through out this process he might has burned some bridges, but all the GM's know that if you wanna make a deal, this is the man to talk to. Also, the creativity of his teams names have been unmatched. He is truly a pioneer in the team naming department.
One glaring weakness has been his ability to draft. Coach Doyle has been know to draft by yesterday and not tomorrow. He goes on past performance and big names instead of looking to the future and hot this player projects. Doyle has been working on this though as he made numerous appearances at the Mel Kiper Jr draft prognostication coaches clinics this past summer. So the effort on his part to improve is there, but only time will tell as we approach the draft how all the work he put in this off season pays off.
Tomorrow we will spot shadow Team #10 "SullDog Hot Heads" and manager Nicholas X. Lee
-Rockdaddy
Good afternoon everyone, Mel Kiper Jr. here for your second installment of your 2009 Yahoo Fantasy Football League Team Breakdowns. In installment one yesterday we talked about Team "Sweep the Leg" and Manager Kevin D. Field. Today will be Team "Champagne Campaign" and manager Ryan Q. Doyle.
When you look at overall resumes, you couldn't get two people that are further apart than Coach Doyle and Coach Field. Doyle, affectionately known as "Quinton" or "Q" in his close group of coaching professional friends, the seasoned veteran in numerous fantasy leagues has proven time and time again to be able to find a way to bend the rules and find loop holes in rules to help benefit the team. Coach Doyle is not out in any of these leagues to make friends. He has one thing on his mind and that's the championship. Unfortunately for him, victories come few and far between and his teams have been characterized greatly for collapsing at the end of the season. The phrase "Doyleian Season" gets its roots in years past and in other leagues but was no more apparent than last years team that had a commanding overall lead going into the final two weeks of the season, only two lose the final games and then draw the 6th seed in the playoffs, only to collapse in the first round of the playoffs to league runner up in Coach Field.
Make no mistake though, Coach Doyle exudes confidence and bravado on the sidelines during the week of preparation. He has been known to be constantly checking his blackberry at parties and at work to try to snatch up players that become free agents before others. Also, he is not afraid to make any trade, which besides his confidence, is probably his biggest strength as a coach. If he thinks trading away his number 1QB will make his team better you better believe that Coach Doyle is going to try and wine and dine you to take him up on that trade. He has been known to fire out over 30 trade ideas in a week to try to enhance his team. Through out this process he might has burned some bridges, but all the GM's know that if you wanna make a deal, this is the man to talk to. Also, the creativity of his teams names have been unmatched. He is truly a pioneer in the team naming department.
One glaring weakness has been his ability to draft. Coach Doyle has been know to draft by yesterday and not tomorrow. He goes on past performance and big names instead of looking to the future and hot this player projects. Doyle has been working on this though as he made numerous appearances at the Mel Kiper Jr draft prognostication coaches clinics this past summer. So the effort on his part to improve is there, but only time will tell as we approach the draft how all the work he put in this off season pays off.
Tomorrow we will spot shadow Team #10 "SullDog Hot Heads" and manager Nicholas X. Lee
-Rockdaddy
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
2009 Yahoo Fantasy Football League Team by Team Breakdown
Well in the spirit of the season, we might as well have a team by team break down with analysis and prognostication for this up coming. Every day we will work in descending draft order starting with team #12 and finishing with team #1. Without further adieu, Mel Kiper Jr....
Team #12 "Sweep The Leg" Team Manager - Kevin D. Field
Team #12 "Sweep The Leg" Team Manager - Kevin D. Field
Good afternoon gentlemen, Mel Kiper Jr. of ESPN.Com and Melkiperjr.Com has come to lay the smack down on the upcoming The TTS Fantasy Football League Draft. The final pick of round 1 will go to last years runner up Kevin Field with Team "Sweep The Leg". Last season was Coach Field's first season doing fantasy football and without a question he turned some heads. His team was loaded with "WOW" potential players as well as good positive energy players that are needed to get you over the hump in the long and grueling fantasy football season. His overall record is far from being impressive but he was able to make key moves to help spring his team into the post season and make a late season run.
Unfortunately, with every Cinderella story, the clock eventually strikes midnight and their luck runs out. Field and his staff made some great waiver deals and trades throughout the course of the season, but his dealing with Coach Rocco and Team "Rockdaddy" ended up breaking his back in the playoffs. Originally seen as a lopsided deal for Field, it ended up being one in favor of Rocco. This was a move that most likely he doesn't make this year and is a result of experience on Coach Fields side and hopefully he will be able to learn from this in the years to come.
Some strengths that Coach Field possesses is the ability to see and picture how and where a certain player fits in to his team and system. As well as the ability to go out and make trades. He has brass balls and those are needed in leagues like this.
Some weaknesses that he has is lack of overall experience as well as the "what the f are thinking" state of mind he can get in to during the overall decision making process. As a major New England Patriots fan, Field has managed his teams much in the way that Bill Belichick has, with an iron fist with what he says is the way final word. It should be interesting if he can get the same results out of his team this year or if his unorthodox teaching ways will fall on deaf ears.
Tune in tomorrow for team #11 "Champagne Campaign" with team manager Ryan Q. Doyle
-Rockdaddy
Mays loved the powder
Finally, the world makes some sense. There was no way Mays could have been that excited and high strung about his products without cocaine. For those of you who aren't aware. The autopsy of legendary pitchman Billy Mays revealed cocaine in his blood.
This means one of two things, Mays either made a habit of snorting coke off of hookers a la Britney Spears style. Or, and this is what I suspect, Mays used cocaine to function on a daily basis. Maybe a morning coffee just wasnt doing the trick. Mays needed the energy. Well, I'm sure as an undergrad the cocaine worked fine. But Billy Mays, doing coke at the age of 50?! You're BEGGING FOR A HEART ATTACK.
But on a positive note, I'm going to assume that Mays has been doing cocaine for over 30 years. Coke isnt a habit you just pick up in your mid 40's. Thats when guys divorce their wives, date 20 year olds and buy motorcycles. Not to mention, Mays wasnt your typical guy anyway. So, why is this positive? Mays has been doing cocaine for over 30 years without drawing the ire of the mass media. I mean, if you have a coke habit for over 30 years, you must be an expert snorter.
The family says Mays never showed signs that he was on cocaine. REALLY? Cuz every time I saw him on TV yelling to people how awesome his product was, I didnt exactly think he was low-energy. As Rick James said, "Cocaine is a helluva drug." Mays, you sustained a coke habit for over 30 years and not only survived, but you used your coke habit to flourish your career and become successful. You didnt make lemons out of lemonade, you made lettuce out of white powder. I can't say I condone this type of behavior. In fact, it seems a bit disingenuous that Mays high-energy on the tube wasn't as authentic because he was hopped up on blow. Yet, I firmly believe that this adds to Mays legacy.
Come on, he was never beat up by a hooker.
-- Boosh
Monday, August 10, 2009
Dude, Where's my food?
After spending a few lunches and happy hours at the Atlantic Beer Garden, I was curious to see how the nightlife fared. It did not disappoint. The Beer Garden offered dual outdoor action with both a patio and a roofdeck. It also offered the dance floor for all of the retards that cant carry a conversation. now, you can subtract points for the beer Garden for having the dance floor, but why? Having the dance floor GUARANTEES that all douchebags will be out of your way for the entire night so long as you stay on the patio, which clearly I did.
It was a great night weatherwise and just sitting at a table on the water shooting the shit is a pretty tough thing to get in Boston without paying an arm and a leg. With the dancefloor inside, I didnt have to shout over someone to have a conversation. It was definitely ideal. you think i was just going to write about the bar and not tell a story? bullshit. those of you who were present that night know the story thats coming. Well I'll do my best to not disappoint in my telling...
so myself and 4 other guys were sitting at a table outside and just shooting the proverbial breeze. The table next to us offered a pretty lame guy, as well as one other female. They werent factors yet. So out of the corner of my eye, I see a guy with a fairly dark complexion (he was NOT Italian, Doyle!) but if I had to judge a book by its cover, I would have guessed Indian. He had the standard douche repertoire with long hair, gelled, button down etc etc. So he is just literally standing by himself, staring off into the distance, DEFINITELY trashed. All of the sudden, "Let it Rock" comes on. and the kid starts dancing. Not Jimmy Hamilton energetic dancing, this was lethargic "Show me your Genitals" dancing with a european flair to it. But, he was by himself.
This continued for about 5 minutes when the table next to us got involved and starts laughing at the guy too. J.P. aka (The Hebrew Hammer) starts videotaping the guy with his phone. The guy looks up at JP multiple times and sees JP videotaping him, and isnt the slightest bit phased. 5 minutes later, a bouncer comes out. Now, ive made it quite clear to those who know me how terrible I think bouncers are. I may actually post something I wrote about bouncers on this post. In fact, I might just start posting alot of my former articles on this blog for the people who havent read them before. I know my tufts friends will call self aggrandizing, but they call it on me anyway so who cares.
Anyways, so this bouncer comes out, and here I am thinking he'd try to assert his tommy tough guy attitude and toss this guy, but no! He sees all of us laughing and instead of ruining our fun, he joins in! The bouncer now starts laughing at this guy! One entire section of the patio is dying of laughter at this retard dancing by himself. So, 5 minutes later, this kid stops dancing. His drink was completely full except the 2 sips he took while cutting the rug. He casually walks over to Davis and starts mumbling something. We all stare at him in bewilderment. He keeps mumbling inaudible things. I mean, he seemed too cordial to look like he was pissed, but apparently, he was asking Davis if he was making fun of him while he was dancing. KEEP IN MIND, there were over 20 people laughing at him, and he somehow picked Davis. So after the 4th time he repeated it Davis responds in the most outrageously sarcastic tone "No. I would NEVER do that." So then I raise my hand and say "Well I was making fun of you." he was completely oblivious. So the kid once again accused Davis of making fun of him. So Davis stands up and now the kid realizes it probably wasnt a good idea to pick on guys much bigger than him. Not to mention, the odds were considerably stacked against him. The bouncer steps in and tosses the guy from the bar before anything got remotely close to out of hand. Not to mention, the bouncer was still laughing at this kid and clearly had our backs. While I was sad to see the entertainment gone, it was definitely one of the funnier moments of the night. Does it stop there? nope. We have the perfect few of the dancefloor from the patio. And we got this one guy just absolotely travolta-ing the shit out of the Atlantic Beer Garden. Like, this was Jess Alba in "Honey." He probably pregamed watchin Step-Up and Save the Last Dance. so now we all start laughing at this guy. Of course at this point, Jimmy is out there somewhere dancing so its fun to see people react to him out there. Jimmy's like a wild card out there. You never know how the dancing douchebags are going to react to him. Some eat him up and girls will throw themselves at him like last night at the Beer Garden. Then there are times at sissy k's where a group of guys think he is mocking them and I told them he was gay to convince them that beating him up would be a hate crime. It worked because as tough as a guy thinks he is, he can usually be reasoned with, even if its fake reasoning. Anyways, so the ABG has prime real estate for mocking people on the dance floor, which is really one of the best reasons to go there I found.
So, its closing time, but now the real adventure begins. The City of Boston showed its true colors on Saturday night. what a joke of a city. I drove all throughout Southie and couldnt find one food place that was open. Not even a 7 11. WTF IS THIS. ITS A SATURDAY NIGHT. I dont give a rats ass about a tough economy. Seriously, who is goin to get lousy Chinese food in Southie during normal business hours. The only business they get is CLEARLY on Saturdays after midnight. WHY WOULD THEY CLOSE? So, for over an hour, we cruised through the streets of southie and Boston searching for a meal. Finally, at 330am, we hit up SYMPHONY MARKET on BOYLSTON ST.
Now sure, some of you are saying, "Oh well I know this great 24 hour place in Boston, or OH, they shoulda tried this place, yada yada." Well, 2 points here. 1) chances are, we probably did drive by it, and it was closed inexplicably. But thats not the point of the rant. This is: (2) IT IS UNACCEPTABLE TO DRIVE FOR AN HOUR IN ANY CITY AND NOT FIND A PLACE TO EAT. If I was in New York City or Chicago, I coulda had 3 meals at 3 different places from 230-330 in the morning. They find you, you dont find them. In Boston, its like lookin for D's dignity. no matter how hard you look, you dont even get a whiff of it. There's not even a trace. and ya, we tried the South St. diner and the line was over an hour long. SO SERIOUSLY, what does that tell you? GIVE US MORE OPTIONS. Its bad enough you shut the T down at 1230. Its worse that you close bars at 2am. But to give us nothing to eat late at night so that South St. Diner looks like a soup kitchen in Roxbury? What a joke. If anyone even thinks about suggesting the Fanueil Hall sausage stands as a viable late night snack, then you're probably exactly where you belong...in Fanueil Hall. how was that cover charge and 30 minute wait in line for a POS bar filled with classless girls and Newton/Andover douchebags? But ya, enjoy your sausage stand. Asshole.
My cousin got jumped waiting in line for a sausage at Faneuil Hall. What are the chances they pick the one normal guy. they had to figure there was a 90% chance they'd be attackin a douchebag. I guess life isnt fair, but, you cant exactly trust the judgment of 4 guys who have the courage to jump 1 guy from behind. Weird. I want 24 hour places in Boston. I want to do another summer night at the ABG. Lets make it happen. Kristy Holmes works there too. she's a nice gal. Back by popular demand will be a few more Eurotreats this week. ive also got some things to say about billy mays, the patriots, and the US Mexico game. Enjoy your monday.
-- Boosh
It was a great night weatherwise and just sitting at a table on the water shooting the shit is a pretty tough thing to get in Boston without paying an arm and a leg. With the dancefloor inside, I didnt have to shout over someone to have a conversation. It was definitely ideal. you think i was just going to write about the bar and not tell a story? bullshit. those of you who were present that night know the story thats coming. Well I'll do my best to not disappoint in my telling...
so myself and 4 other guys were sitting at a table outside and just shooting the proverbial breeze. The table next to us offered a pretty lame guy, as well as one other female. They werent factors yet. So out of the corner of my eye, I see a guy with a fairly dark complexion (he was NOT Italian, Doyle!) but if I had to judge a book by its cover, I would have guessed Indian. He had the standard douche repertoire with long hair, gelled, button down etc etc. So he is just literally standing by himself, staring off into the distance, DEFINITELY trashed. All of the sudden, "Let it Rock" comes on. and the kid starts dancing. Not Jimmy Hamilton energetic dancing, this was lethargic "Show me your Genitals" dancing with a european flair to it. But, he was by himself.
This continued for about 5 minutes when the table next to us got involved and starts laughing at the guy too. J.P. aka (The Hebrew Hammer) starts videotaping the guy with his phone. The guy looks up at JP multiple times and sees JP videotaping him, and isnt the slightest bit phased. 5 minutes later, a bouncer comes out. Now, ive made it quite clear to those who know me how terrible I think bouncers are. I may actually post something I wrote about bouncers on this post. In fact, I might just start posting alot of my former articles on this blog for the people who havent read them before. I know my tufts friends will call self aggrandizing, but they call it on me anyway so who cares.
Anyways, so this bouncer comes out, and here I am thinking he'd try to assert his tommy tough guy attitude and toss this guy, but no! He sees all of us laughing and instead of ruining our fun, he joins in! The bouncer now starts laughing at this guy! One entire section of the patio is dying of laughter at this retard dancing by himself. So, 5 minutes later, this kid stops dancing. His drink was completely full except the 2 sips he took while cutting the rug. He casually walks over to Davis and starts mumbling something. We all stare at him in bewilderment. He keeps mumbling inaudible things. I mean, he seemed too cordial to look like he was pissed, but apparently, he was asking Davis if he was making fun of him while he was dancing. KEEP IN MIND, there were over 20 people laughing at him, and he somehow picked Davis. So after the 4th time he repeated it Davis responds in the most outrageously sarcastic tone "No. I would NEVER do that." So then I raise my hand and say "Well I was making fun of you." he was completely oblivious. So the kid once again accused Davis of making fun of him. So Davis stands up and now the kid realizes it probably wasnt a good idea to pick on guys much bigger than him. Not to mention, the odds were considerably stacked against him. The bouncer steps in and tosses the guy from the bar before anything got remotely close to out of hand. Not to mention, the bouncer was still laughing at this kid and clearly had our backs. While I was sad to see the entertainment gone, it was definitely one of the funnier moments of the night. Does it stop there? nope. We have the perfect few of the dancefloor from the patio. And we got this one guy just absolotely travolta-ing the shit out of the Atlantic Beer Garden. Like, this was Jess Alba in "Honey." He probably pregamed watchin Step-Up and Save the Last Dance. so now we all start laughing at this guy. Of course at this point, Jimmy is out there somewhere dancing so its fun to see people react to him out there. Jimmy's like a wild card out there. You never know how the dancing douchebags are going to react to him. Some eat him up and girls will throw themselves at him like last night at the Beer Garden. Then there are times at sissy k's where a group of guys think he is mocking them and I told them he was gay to convince them that beating him up would be a hate crime. It worked because as tough as a guy thinks he is, he can usually be reasoned with, even if its fake reasoning. Anyways, so the ABG has prime real estate for mocking people on the dance floor, which is really one of the best reasons to go there I found.
So, its closing time, but now the real adventure begins. The City of Boston showed its true colors on Saturday night. what a joke of a city. I drove all throughout Southie and couldnt find one food place that was open. Not even a 7 11. WTF IS THIS. ITS A SATURDAY NIGHT. I dont give a rats ass about a tough economy. Seriously, who is goin to get lousy Chinese food in Southie during normal business hours. The only business they get is CLEARLY on Saturdays after midnight. WHY WOULD THEY CLOSE? So, for over an hour, we cruised through the streets of southie and Boston searching for a meal. Finally, at 330am, we hit up SYMPHONY MARKET on BOYLSTON ST.
Now sure, some of you are saying, "Oh well I know this great 24 hour place in Boston, or OH, they shoulda tried this place, yada yada." Well, 2 points here. 1) chances are, we probably did drive by it, and it was closed inexplicably. But thats not the point of the rant. This is: (2) IT IS UNACCEPTABLE TO DRIVE FOR AN HOUR IN ANY CITY AND NOT FIND A PLACE TO EAT. If I was in New York City or Chicago, I coulda had 3 meals at 3 different places from 230-330 in the morning. They find you, you dont find them. In Boston, its like lookin for D's dignity. no matter how hard you look, you dont even get a whiff of it. There's not even a trace. and ya, we tried the South St. diner and the line was over an hour long. SO SERIOUSLY, what does that tell you? GIVE US MORE OPTIONS. Its bad enough you shut the T down at 1230. Its worse that you close bars at 2am. But to give us nothing to eat late at night so that South St. Diner looks like a soup kitchen in Roxbury? What a joke. If anyone even thinks about suggesting the Fanueil Hall sausage stands as a viable late night snack, then you're probably exactly where you belong...in Fanueil Hall. how was that cover charge and 30 minute wait in line for a POS bar filled with classless girls and Newton/Andover douchebags? But ya, enjoy your sausage stand. Asshole.
My cousin got jumped waiting in line for a sausage at Faneuil Hall. What are the chances they pick the one normal guy. they had to figure there was a 90% chance they'd be attackin a douchebag. I guess life isnt fair, but, you cant exactly trust the judgment of 4 guys who have the courage to jump 1 guy from behind. Weird. I want 24 hour places in Boston. I want to do another summer night at the ABG. Lets make it happen. Kristy Holmes works there too. she's a nice gal. Back by popular demand will be a few more Eurotreats this week. ive also got some things to say about billy mays, the patriots, and the US Mexico game. Enjoy your monday.
-- Boosh
This Time Next Week There Will Be One Less Man In The World With A Penis
Hopefully by this time next week I am just waking up from the shenanigans that begin this Thursday with the Rehearsal Dinner and end some time in the early hours of Sunday morning with me passing out in some random hotel room in Westford. This is the official final countdown for Fogies Wedding.
The speech has been nearly perfected, I just need to work on some pronunciation and joke delivery and Ill be good to go. I cant even begin to think how crazy this week is going to be for myself and I am not even getting married. I have to shave at least 4 times to prevent me from looking like a hobo, not to mention I need the matching haircut to go along with it. I need to drop off my wedding present to Fogie before the wedding, apparently its some type of bullshit best man tradition. Then the rehearsal dinner is Thursday...so myself and Jimmy have to make sure to completely appall the entire crowd there. Friday Ill be going around making sure that the tux fits and I'm looking good, not to mention picking up some odds and ends like booze and stogies for the after party and then Saturday is the big day starting off with some mid morning fishing and some early morning pop.
Needless to say the bank account is going to be hurting again after this weekend...I need to start doing things in which i don't have to pay for anything, or people pay for me....that would be awesome...
-Rockdaddy
Sunday, August 9, 2009
UGH, Really???
Well to say that the past four days of baseball was painful would be an understatement. We had a blowout, a depressing 15 inning walk off lost to the biggest douche bag in all of sports (and don't give me the "You are just saying that cuz he is a Yankee" bullshit...Yankee fans don't fucking like this guy), and then two games where it actually seemed like blowouts but the games where kinda close.
Listen, I understand the MLB season is long and its a pain in the ass and everyone goes into slumps and shit, but this is a a little crazy now. We have lost something like 11 games in the standings since the All-Star break...it wasnt even a full moth ago!!! Not to mention now this team has one day off from now until the end of the month. Oh ya they play all teams that have winning percentages over .500 during this stretch. FML. Does anyone know someone that would be interested in potentially being a slump buster for an entire 25 man roster Major League Baseball Team??? The sooner we can make arraingements the better.
-RockdaddyThursday, August 6, 2009
BarStool in Decline?
Poison Ivy update: It has currently spread to my fingers. So let's talk about the current state of the blog. I havent piled on Jimmy or D too much for their lack of posts because I definitely understand what it's like to have tons of work to do (no I don't). So, what could D possibly be doing? What could Jimmy possibly be doing?
In the meantime, there's something I want to address here. Is it me, or has Barstoolsports gone completely downhill? This blog once got me through countless days. A blog that talked about sports, life, Boston; it was perfect. A blog by the common man, for the common man. What the hell happened?
Now, the man who labels himself "el pres" constantly talks down to everyone and instead of simply ripping people like he once did, he spends most of his time blabbering about how awesome he is. Yawn. His writing has become pretty stale, redundant, and predictable. I still am a pretty big fan of Jerry as he stays in touch with his roots and the right formula for blog success.
I mean, maybe it's just me. But seriously though, what do people think? I mean, if you never liked barstool, dont bother. This is for people who used to like it, and may or may not still like it now. Is it me or has it lost a bit of steam? What once was something I checked daily, I can honestly say I get to it about once a week now because I really dont care where those nurses are going to be at any given moment. AND THEY ARENT EVEN HOT.
I dont care anymore for all the various odd crime stories where "El Pres" defends the criminal using clever gimmicks. Yawn. The smokeshow of the day is still a great concept though. Although, i guess we could do without the 3 sentence explanation of why this girl is so attractive. While I do mean this in both sense of the word, it definitely feels like "El Pres" is over-compensating here. Who is he trying to convince he is cool and witty? Us? Or himself? Either way, he's had a great run. I guess I feel like he's lost his touch. Become too commercial. Thoughts?
In the meantime, there's something I want to address here. Is it me, or has Barstoolsports gone completely downhill? This blog once got me through countless days. A blog that talked about sports, life, Boston; it was perfect. A blog by the common man, for the common man. What the hell happened?
Now, the man who labels himself "el pres" constantly talks down to everyone and instead of simply ripping people like he once did, he spends most of his time blabbering about how awesome he is. Yawn. His writing has become pretty stale, redundant, and predictable. I still am a pretty big fan of Jerry as he stays in touch with his roots and the right formula for blog success.
I mean, maybe it's just me. But seriously though, what do people think? I mean, if you never liked barstool, dont bother. This is for people who used to like it, and may or may not still like it now. Is it me or has it lost a bit of steam? What once was something I checked daily, I can honestly say I get to it about once a week now because I really dont care where those nurses are going to be at any given moment. AND THEY ARENT EVEN HOT.
I dont care anymore for all the various odd crime stories where "El Pres" defends the criminal using clever gimmicks. Yawn. The smokeshow of the day is still a great concept though. Although, i guess we could do without the 3 sentence explanation of why this girl is so attractive. While I do mean this in both sense of the word, it definitely feels like "El Pres" is over-compensating here. Who is he trying to convince he is cool and witty? Us? Or himself? Either way, he's had a great run. I guess I feel like he's lost his touch. Become too commercial. Thoughts?
-- Boosh
Tuesday, August 4, 2009
Time to start juicin'
For those of you who aren't aware, I have been battling poison ivy for the past 3 weeks. It hasn't been pretty. What started as one small red dot on my left arm has now turned into massive red outbreaks up and down my arms and most recently, as of today, spread to my upper body and stomach area.
I've never had poison ivy before, and I cant say I am thrilled about this. The reason I write about this is because I have an announcement to make. As of tomorrow, I will be going on steroids. I need to make this clear, I have never criticized a baseball player for taking steroids. I have, however, criticized players for lying about it or condemning others for taking it when they themselves were users.
I just want all of my fans to know that as I embark on this journey to enhance the performance of my skin, I do so with a heavy heart. I want all the kids out there who read this blog to know that while steroids may be bad for you in some regards; when unregulated by your employer and usage of them will likely have a positive impact on your performance at your job, which will help you make millions of dollars more than you would have without using steroids, you are not a bad person. In fact, most people would probably juice in those circumstances. but yeah, you're right, let's kill all of these players for doing what most people would do? Cheating? How is it cheating when EVERYONE else is doing it and the league wont step in? Say if I am a pitcher trying to survive in the big leagues. If I do roids, I clearly have a way better chance of making the squad, if I dont do steroids, all the other people on other teams doing them will destroy me, and get away with it because baseball doesnt test for steroids...
Was it like that with every player? Of course not. But everyone get off their high horse and stop calling barry bonds a cheater just because he never gave Bill Simmons a post-game interview. If everyone else was doing something that gave them an advantage, while illegal, was not being tested or regulated by your employer, you'd probably do it too so you wouldnt lose your job, or you'd probably do it so you could be better at your job and make WAY more money.
Ive elected to use steroids. Just like many other users, both current like myself and the former, I ask you to consider the individual circumstances. Dont rush or jump to conclusions when you dont know all the facts. Tomorrow, I will begin juicing with a topical steroid cream to get rid of my poison ivy. My steroid era begins...
I've never had poison ivy before, and I cant say I am thrilled about this. The reason I write about this is because I have an announcement to make. As of tomorrow, I will be going on steroids. I need to make this clear, I have never criticized a baseball player for taking steroids. I have, however, criticized players for lying about it or condemning others for taking it when they themselves were users.
I just want all of my fans to know that as I embark on this journey to enhance the performance of my skin, I do so with a heavy heart. I want all the kids out there who read this blog to know that while steroids may be bad for you in some regards; when unregulated by your employer and usage of them will likely have a positive impact on your performance at your job, which will help you make millions of dollars more than you would have without using steroids, you are not a bad person. In fact, most people would probably juice in those circumstances. but yeah, you're right, let's kill all of these players for doing what most people would do? Cheating? How is it cheating when EVERYONE else is doing it and the league wont step in? Say if I am a pitcher trying to survive in the big leagues. If I do roids, I clearly have a way better chance of making the squad, if I dont do steroids, all the other people on other teams doing them will destroy me, and get away with it because baseball doesnt test for steroids...
Was it like that with every player? Of course not. But everyone get off their high horse and stop calling barry bonds a cheater just because he never gave Bill Simmons a post-game interview. If everyone else was doing something that gave them an advantage, while illegal, was not being tested or regulated by your employer, you'd probably do it too so you wouldnt lose your job, or you'd probably do it so you could be better at your job and make WAY more money.
Ive elected to use steroids. Just like many other users, both current like myself and the former, I ask you to consider the individual circumstances. Dont rush or jump to conclusions when you dont know all the facts. Tomorrow, I will begin juicing with a topical steroid cream to get rid of my poison ivy. My steroid era begins...
A Lot of Catching Up To Do....
Well first I want to go and say thank you to Boosh for posting this past article on my recent promotion. I have no doubt in my mind that he could be the president of Lynx nation and run it like the good Doctor, Dr. Charles Steinberg. If he can even run it half as good, with half the pink hats, ill be es tactic....
Anyways, I am terribly sorry that I have not been posting lately. I have been working tirelessly on trying to find some one that wants to play for me, as well as beginning to work on my speech as Fogies best man. This is fucking hard man. I mean I'm gonna be shitfaced, I just hope I don't ruin the entire wedding. I mean regardless, I am going to have an awesome time, and I know that all of our buddies are gonna have an awesome time. Its just a matter of the rest of the wedding catching up to us. Its kinda like how the great Joe Kane said in "The Program", "Oh I'm gonna lead, the question is are you gonna be able to follow". We are going to be able to be the headliners, can all the other slugs can get on our level. I highly doubt it.
Again I have to thank Boosh for carrying this website. And no Jimmy, putting up 5 pictures of Ma$e does not count as a sufficient blog post. And D....well I'm not even gonna say anything. Fucking kid goes on vacation and has time to respond to E-Mails and Twitter postings but he cant write one freaking blog post. What is this amateur hour D?
Anyways I got to get back to my speech... Live long and prosper folks and Ill make sure to try to check in a few times before this wedding.
-Rockdaddy
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