Brett Favre died for our sins

Brett Favre died last night when authorities found him hanging from a cross in his backyard. It is said that Brett, who had recently appointed himself the King of Jews II, will return again to Judge the Living and the Dead. His will mentioned nothing of his estate, but was adamant about being buried in a tomb with a big boulder. On the Sunday after his death, he insists that we all go near the tomb so we can watch him ascend to heaven and wonder how he escaped from the tomb.

Brett wants you all to know that he gave his life to save us from our sins. In fact, he demands that we all know because he has paid for TV crews to provide 24 hour live coverage of his tomb so we can watch him limp out and remark about how "tough" he is and how he plays with nothing but "heart" and "soul." Brett has already published an autobiography and you can find them in hotel rooms and church pews.

Brett performed numerous miracles in his life. He won a Superbowl. He threw for a bunch of TD passes a few days after his father, Joseph, passed away. He also threw for the most career NFL interceptions.

Brett was loved by everyone and was noted for his extreme loyalty to his followers. When he told his followers something, he always stuck to his word.

I may not know how Brett Favre managed to crucify himself. But I do know why: He died for my sins. He died for all of our sins. But most importantly, whether he's limping on TV or crying in a press conference, he wants us to know about his sacrifice. After all, if there is one thing Brett Favre can teach us, prophets have to convince the world of their divinity.



In the name of the Father, Brett Favre, and the Holy Spirit, Amen.

-- Boosh

Did D just drop a treat?

It wasnt much, but I do believe D posted something to the blog. As for the content, I don't know what else I can say. It was cold, and Nan Ling was a good 15 minutes away. D was the one who brought it up and I obliged. We may have looked ridiculous, but when you consider we were going to Nan Ling, we still might have been the most normal of the patrons.

Speaking of Nan Ling. Can you find a much worse Chinese food place? It takes you hours to get your crappy overpriced food. The service not only sucks, but they are rude to you. They take forever to make meaningless orders and they arent even open 24 hours. Can we please get ONE Chinese food place open 24 hours in boston? PLEASE? Just one?

To give Nan Ling competition all you would have to do is be open late and treat me like a human being to obtain my business. Overprice your food, take forever making it, but dont be an asshole to me and consider me your most loyal customer. Nan Ling makes it so easy to hate and yet I still go back for more. So who is the fool? The fool or the one who follows him?

Has anyone seen Jimmy James or Rocco for that matter? Does anyone want to start writing for this blog once I take it over for good?

This Superbowl looks average. Nobody wants to see the Colts win obviously. The weird thing is, the Colts arent really that hated. Colts fans hate the Patriots, but lets face it, the Patriots dont really hate the Colts that much. That being said, I'm going to root against the Colts because I, like most of America, would like to see the Saints win their first Superbowl. They are a very likeable team and hell, I was just in Nola so why wouldnt I launch my support for a city that treated me so well?

-- Boosh

Texts From Boosh's Night

(978): Just so we are clear, we did, in fact, do a 2 man indian sprint to nan ling last night



-Lloyd "D" Christmas

Jersey Shore

Chris Rock came out with a famous bit in 1996 titled "niggas vs. black people" in which he comically detailed how the acts of a select few group of black people were giving the race itself a bad name throughout the country. The act has been most recently referenced by a Father's Day Speech that President Obama made, and I'm sure most of you who watch the Office remember the references to it on "Diversity Day" with Steve Carell.

The parallel to Jersey Shore is blatantly obvious to Italian-Americans. Too often, I hear people justify watching this show because this isn't REALLY Italian-Americans, it's "guidos from Jersey Shore." In other words, as long as you, the individual, can make a distinction that you are not treating this as indicative of Italian-Americans, then you find it acceptable and enjoyable to watch.

First of all, only other Italian-Americans can have a legitimate opinion on how I react to the show so if you arent, I would suggest you plug your holes since you'll never know what it's like to be an Italian-American or what it means. Second of all, that attitude itself is very lousy. Simply because you find it acceptable to watch, all of the sudden that makes it ok for everyone else? What about the 12 year old who starts making slurs towards Italian Americans because he watches that show?

I'm not calling for censorship. I hate censorship. I'm not calling for anything. I am expressing a large disappointment in those who watch Jersey Shore. MTV itself is insufferable, but those of you who watch allow these things to exist. All you did was perpetuate the crap that continues to dominate this world and reduce human beings to complacent robots. Don't believe me? Look at how everyone jumped through the hoop in the election last week? Since when does a special election require the specially educated to announce their support for a political figure when in reality they have no idea the implications and ramifications of the political process. Yet, all last week people played their roles, which served nothing more than to self aggrandize and polarize. I see right through all of you. If you have nothing better to do with your life than watch Jersey Shore at any given moment, what does that say about you?

Here's what it says: You're all so dramatic about your insecurities that watching other peoples pathetic drama is exactly what you need to stomach yourself. but then again, maybe that's why these shows are so successful. So go ahead. watch the next garbage show that MTV puts out so you can feel better about your life. Then the next, then the next. Then get married and reproduce so we can have 3 more retards who watch it. Then they'll reproduce and we can continue to de-evolve as a society as the morons exponentially increase while intelligent people will blow their brains out in frustration.

In summary, I think less of anyone who chooses to watch Jersey Shore. Considering all of the ways to entertain yourself in a world filled with opportunities to numb your mind, choosing Jersey Shore pretty much tells me exactly what I need to know about you.

-- Boosh

BOOSH IS BACK MANG

Geez, you go to texas, louisiana, and mississippi for a couple weeks and the entire blog falls apart. Can't say I'm shocked. First of all, welcome to 2010 everyone. I hope you all had a good new year and by that I mean I hope you all went to a house party instead of paying 200 dollar cover charges for inaccessible open bars and a tiny glass of champagne.

New Years is a pretty shitty holiday. There is absolutely nothing good about New Years unless you follow the fresh start mantra. And sure, while alot of you may say that you do, are you really getting a fresh start by getting hammered with your friends and making out with the closest person next to you at midnight?

AND WHEN THE HELL DID THAT BECOME A TRADITION. When I was a kid it used to be just celebrating, hugging and drinking sparkling cider. Since when does slipping tongue become so acceptable I have to watch Sailor Bob get to first base in Times Square on live television with some insecure tramp from Southern CT? Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesnt Seacrest host these things now? Yeah. Like I really needed more excuses to hate New Years Eve. They make it too easy.

Now sure, we dont even have to get into my own history of New Years parties and the events revolving James Hamilton. But I will say this, New Years Day tends to be pretty fun. A good day with the family...lots of Chinese and Italian food to go around. This may only be my family, but New Years Day is done pretty well. Go around the table and do the bull shit new years resolutions.

My New Years Resolution is to like Taylor Swift. So far...so good. For a blonde, she is fairly attractive. We all know I am a brunette guy. But my goal isnt to find her attractive...it's just to like her. So far so good. The few times I hear her songs, I try to keep them on. I'm not saying I'm going to get a poster of her and hang it in my room but let's look at her benefits: She's classy. she's not some 16 year old tramp parading around in her underwear grinding on lunchboxes (Miley Cyrus). She's also not the sequel to Hansen (Jonas Brothers). Also, as the victim of Kanye West's ego, I find it so much easier to rally behind her.

I know I've done it once already on this blog but I'm just going to say TOLD YA SO to every fucking moron Kanye West fan out there. I said right from the start he was full of shit. Now all you former fans are jumping on my bandwagon. Well get off of it, because he will come out with a new album in 3 years and you'll probably pretend you never left him in the first place (Justin Timberlake).

So anyways, you heard it here...I am a Taylor Swift fan

Alright, I still have the Decade in Reviews to do, so dont think I forgot about those. Obviously I will tell some Texan and New Orleans tales as well as I get settled back into normalcy. I'd like to apologize for the lack of treats, but its not my apology to make as I have been nowhere near the internet. blame the other retards in the right column.

-- Boosh

Tracy Morgan tries to take out Conan ?

Apparently, Tracy Morgan became possessed during a recent filming of the Tonight Show with Conan Obrien and attempted to stab him.


Tracy has no comment about the incident.

First Blog of 2010 Bitches!

It may be a new year but its the same old story. Boosh is back touring the country again and mocking everyone with picture messages that he send us everyday of all the awesome places that he goes. Jimmy I believe is still face down in a Medford gutter somewhere, he will most likely pull out of it just in time to shower and head to work tomorrow. So it looks like the Daddy is back in the drivers seat making sure this blog doesn't turn to shit.

As is every year, the day after Christmas turns into the New Years Eve Countdown...everyone is firing out text messages and E-Mails about what are we gonna do, where we going and all that shit. I have no problem with it, New Years is a great opportunity to get together with your friends, and have another night to act like a drunken asshole. But is that what New Years Eve essentially turn into? Act like an asshole night?? What right do bars have to charge you $85-$100 for a goddamn ticket to get into there bar? Are they fucking retarded? If I'm not going to go to your bar on a normal weekend when you are charging just a 5 or 10 dollar cover, what makes you think I am going to pay in some cases 10 times that to wait in line all night just to get in and then wait in other lines to get my drinks? Fuck you man. Also, what the hell am I going to do for 4-5 hours at bar to get that moneys worth? You can only creep on the same group of girls so many times before they report you as a potential sex offender in the 617 area code region.

Going along with this same premise, and this diffidently goes out to the guys out there more than the ladies, why do you all act like fucking dooshbags out at the bar that night? Its like you all transform into those retards from that Jersey Shore show on MTV, fist pumping, spilling your drink all over everyone, the only difference is that you are wearing a sport coat and those Guido fucks are wearing a wife beater under shirt that would barely fit a toddler. Clean it up, just because its the end of the year doesn't mean that we are all going to forget about the way you acted that night. Its just gonna make us wanna kick your ass that much more the next time we see you.

So in conclusion, New Years is no different in my book from Valentines Day. Its a marketing holiday that in the long run is only going to get people in trouble with how they act. Why do you have to act any different on this day than on any other day. Why do bars have to charge the fuck out of every single one of us? Its non sense. So my New Years resolution is to cunt punt any asshole I see on December 31, 2010 or any bar owner or bouncer that thinks he is the fucking man cuz he just raped me on a ticket to get into his shit establishment.

P.S. - After hearing this you'd think that I did go to a bar, but I just went to a house party that night at JimmyJames apartment. I just had to rant a little bit.

WHATS UP 2010!!


-Rockdaddy